Danger and Safety
What are dangerous situations for women? What can make them feel unsafe? How do they react to these dangers? These questions have been extensively studied in psychology and sociology. When it comes to sexual behavior, however, researchers often focus on external factors that may influence women's choices such as peer pressure, cultural norms, education, access to contraceptives, and physical attractiveness. But what about internal narratives? What if danger is more than just an objective condition outside ourselves that we fear but also something within us that we try to avoid?
Post-traumatic patterns
Many studies show that trauma can affect people's perception of safety and trust in others. Women who experience trauma are more likely to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can include flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, and difficulty regulating emotions. In other words, they may be constantly aware of potential threats and feel on edge even when there is no real danger. This hyperarousal state can interfere with their ability to relax and enjoy intimacy, making sex more complicated and less pleasurable. But how does this translate into their sexual behavior?
Sexual behavior and PTSD
A recent study found that women with PTSD were more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors like unprotected sex or one-night stands than those without the disorder. They were also more likely to report feeling scared, confused, or overwhelmed during sex, compared to healthy controls.
Further analysis revealed a complex relationship between post-traumatic patterns and sexuality. Some women with PTSD reported feeling safe and protected during sex, while others felt distressed by it. The same was true for feelings of control and arousal. These results suggest that danger and safety are not just external conditions but also internal narratives that shape our experiences.
Narrative theory
Narrative theory proposes that our lives are shaped by stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and the world around us. We create these stories based on our experiences and beliefs, and they influence what we see as possible or desirable.
If you believe that men cannot be trusted, you might be more cautious in your relationships and avoid intimate situations altogether. If you have been abused before, you may expect all men to be abusive, leading to self-fulfilling prophecies. Internal narratives can be positive (e.g., "I am strong") or negative ("I am weak"), empowering or limiting, rational or irrational.
Dangerous men
Women with PTSD often fear being hurt again, which can make them wary of new partners or avoid intimacy altogether. This fear is sometimes triggered by past trauma or negative life events. But it can also come from internalized stereotypes about dangerous men - e.g., that they are violent, controlling, unfaithful, or emotionally unavailable. These beliefs may prevent women from forming healthy relationships and lead to a vicious cycle of rejection, isolation, and loneliness.
Safety and vulnerability
Some women with PTSD seek out intimacy despite their fears because it makes them feel alive and human. They may use sex as a way to heal from trauma or prove their worth. But this strategy comes with risks: they may choose unsafe partners who take advantage of their vulnerability, reinforcing negative narratives about themselves. Similarly, some women with PTSD find intimacy too frightening and numb themselves with alcohol or drugs to cope with their anxiety.
Therapy for sexuality
Psychotherapists can help clients identify and challenge negative narratives about danger and safety, replacing them with more realistic and empowering stories. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be effective in treating PTSD and its impact on sexual behavior. It focuses on changing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors through exposure exercises, mindfulness practices, and problem-solving strategies. Women can learn how to manage their symptoms while still engaging in pleasurable and fulfilling sexual encounters.
Sexual behavior is complex, shaped by many factors beyond external circumstances. Internal narratives are an important part of that equation, affecting what we see as possible, desirable, or dangerous. By understanding these patterns, psychologists and counselors can provide better support for women struggling with trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder.
What internal narratives about danger and safety shape the sexual behavior of women with post-traumatic patterns?
Due to trauma experiences, many women can develop a tendency towards negative thoughts and beliefs regarding their ability to be safe and protected when engaging in sexual encounters. These thoughts may include self-doubt, fear, mistrust, and feelings of shame or guilt.