Some people have difficulty talking about their experiences during military service because they may experience intense feelings such as shame, guilt, anger, grief, embarrassment, fear, helplessness, betrayal, confusion, disgust, resentment, envy, jealousy, anxiety, panic, loneliness, abandonment, isolation, disconnection, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, trauma-related symptoms, and/or suicidal ideation. These emotions can make it difficult to understand why they feel certain ways or act in specific ways. This can lead to difficulties forming trusting relationships outside of their unit, especially when they do not know how to communicate their needs or boundaries effectively.
Many veterans struggle to find a balance between relational closeness and independence.
Some may feel close to their partner but not fully engaged, while others may be hypervigilant for potential threats or dangers within intimate relationships. They may also struggle with self-esteem issues related to sexuality. Some veterans may feel sexually objectified, which could impact their ability to express sexual interest openly without feeling ashamed or guilty. Others might have lost confidence in their own attractiveness due to physical changes from combat injuries or illnesses that made them feel less sexy than before their deployment. Veterans who are single or divorced may have trouble finding romantic partners who appreciate their unique challenges. The experience of war can leave scars that affect all aspects of life, including family dynamics, friendships, social circles, financial stability, work environment, and spiritual practices.
To address these challenges, veterans need support from trained professionals like psychologists and counselors who understand the complexity of military service experiences and its aftermath. They should seek out therapies tailored specifically for treating PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), including cognitive processing therapy (CPT) or prolonged exposure therapy (PE). Group therapy sessions provide safe spaces where veterans learn coping strategies from peers who share similar experiences. Veterans' spouses or partners may also benefit from couples therapy focused on improving communication skills and understanding each other better during stressful times.
There is no one right way for a veteran to heal after trauma; what works depends on individual circumstances and needs. Still, some common themes emerge: seeking help early; building positive relationships with trustworthy people outside of the military context; working through guilt or shame related to past actions while acknowledging their importance in shaping identity and experiences; recognizing strengths gained during service rather than focusing solely on weaknesses; learning how to self-soothe without substance abuse or destructive behaviors; exploring ways to reconnect intimately with loved ones without fear of being judged harshly for differences in opinions/experiences or expressing vulnerabilities openly; practicing relaxation techniques regularly, such as mindful meditation or yoga.
Recovery requires time, patience, courage, hope, and willingness to try different approaches until something feels effective enough to sustain long-term success.
When veterans feel comfortable discussing their emotions and experiences more openly with friends and family members, they often notice changes in how others treat them – including greater respect for their insights into difficult topics and increased empathy towards their struggles. This can foster deeper connections that support resilience over time. As they become more familiar with new patterns of thinking and relating to others, veterans can gradually reclaim lost aspects of themselves that were stolen by war traumas. This process takes time but may include finding meaningful activities like volunteering at local Veterans' organizations, attending community events, joining a support group, pursuing creative hobbies or sports leisurely, etc., depending on personal preferences and available resources.
How do veterans reconstruct relational narratives after trauma alters emotional and sexual identity?
Veterans experience various forms of trauma that alter their relational identities. Traumatic experiences are often linked with mental disorders such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or depression, which affects intimacy, relationships, and self-perception. Veterans may find it challenging to form close bonds with others due to fear, distrust, or feelings of guilt resulting from their military service.