How to Support Your Partner With Sexual Anxiety
Sexual anxiety is common among men and women, but it can be especially difficult for those who have experienced trauma or abuse related to their sexuality. If you're concerned about your partner's sexual anxiety, there are some things you can do to help them feel more comfortable and confident during intimate moments together. Here's what to know.
Understand Their History
One of the best ways to understand your partner's experience with sexual anxiety is to take the time to learn about their history. Talk openly and honestly about past experiences that may contribute to their fears, and be patient as they share their stories. Be aware that some people may need more time than others before they feel comfortable discussing these issues with you. Don't push too hard if they don't want to talk about it right away.
Create a Safe Space for Them
Your partner needs to feel safe when engaging in intimacy with you, so create an environment where they can relax. This means creating a space free from distractions like phones, televisions, or other noise sources. It also means respecting boundaries and avoiding any pressure or coercion. Let them know you'll be available to listen and support them if they need to take a break at any point during intimacy.
Communicate Clearly About Your Desires
Communication is key when dealing with sexual anxiety. Make sure your partner knows exactly what you desire from them physically, emotionally, and mentally. Give specific instructions or preferences, and let them know how much time and effort you'd like to put into intimacy. Avoid vague requests or assumptions—your partner might not know what you mean if you simply say "make love."
Encourage Them to Experiment
Sexuality is a wide-ranging topic, but your partner may have certain preferences that help them ease into intimacy. Encourage them to try new things like massage, touch therapy, or visual stimulation. You could even suggest watching erotic movies together or reading sexy stories aloud. Keep the focus on exploration and experimentation rather than performance.
Be Supportive of Their Emotional Needs
Understand that your partner may experience negative emotions such as shame, guilt, embarrassment, fear, or anger during intimate moments. Don't dismiss their feelings, and instead encourage them to express themselves honestly and openly. Be patient and understanding when they do so, offering reassurance that it's normal for anyone to feel this way at times.
Make Sure They Feel Loved and Valued
Your partner needs to feel loved and valued regardless of whether they can perform in bed. Remind them regularly that you find them attractive, desirable, and irresistible without regard for their sexual prowess. Tell them how much you appreciate them, both inside and outside the bedroom. Focus on positive affirmations rather than negative comments about their body or abilities.
Consider Professional Help
If your partner is unable to overcome their anxiety after trying these steps, consider professional counseling or therapy. A trained therapist can help uncover underlying issues and give practical advice for overcoming barriers to intimacy. Your partner might also benefit from medication if prescribed by a doctor. Consult with your partner before pursuing either option.
Sexual anxiety is common but treatable. By creating a safe space, communicating clearly, encouraging experimentation, supporting emotionally, and seeking professional help when needed, you can help your partner overcome their fears and enjoy healthy intimacy with you. Remember that there's no rush—take your time and work together toward mutual pleasure..