The term "sexual orientation" refers to an individual's innate attraction to individuals of a certain gender or genders. This can range from homosexuality (attraction to people of the same gender), heterosexuality (attraction to people of the opposite gender), bisexuality (attraction to both men and women), pansexuality (attraction to all genders), asexuality (lack of sexual attraction), and many more variations.
Some people experience internalized stigma regarding their own sexual orientation that can negatively impact their ability to form healthy and fulfilling romantic and/or sexual relationships. Internalized stigma occurs when a person believes negative societal stereotypes about themselves and internalizes them, causing self-doubt and shame around their identity.
One way this manifests is through avoidance of intimacy. People who identify as LGBTQ+ may feel they need to hide their true selves in order to be accepted by others, which can lead to hesitancy to share personal information with potential partners, including past experiences, desires, needs, and fears. This can create distance and disconnect between partners, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. It can also make it difficult for couples to communicate effectively, especially about sensitive topics like sex and desire, which can further strain the relationship.
Another way internalized stigma affects intimacy is through anxiety and performance pressure. Someone with internalized stigma may believe they are less worthy than their partner because of their identity, leading to insecurities and doubts about how they will measure up in bed. They may worry about being judged or rejected based on their appearance, body shape, or sexual prowess. This can lead to overcompensating behaviors such as taking unnecessary risks, pressuring their partner into certain activities, or avoiding intimacy altogether.
These patterns can erode trust, honesty, and vulnerability within the relationship.
Internalized stigma can impact emotional closeness and connection. People who experience shame about their identity may struggle with opening up emotionally, sharing their deepest thoughts and fears, or expressing affection freely. This can cause a partner to feel unheard, misunderstood, or even unwanted, creating tension and resentment. In extreme cases, it can lead to self-harm, substance abuse, or other forms of self-destructive behavior that harm both parties involved.
Internalized stigma regarding sexual orientation can have significant negative impacts on intimate relationships. By recognizing and addressing this issue, individuals and couples can work towards healthier, more fulfilling connections built on mutual respect and understanding.
How does internalized stigma regarding sexual orientation influence intimacy?
Internalized stigma refers to feelings of shame, guilt, self-blame, anxiety, sadness, and depression that an individual experiences as a result of negative perceptions about his/her sexual orientation by others (Cochran & Mays, 2008). When individuals experience such negative views about their sexual orientation, they may develop a low sense of self-esteem, which can affect how they relate with others.