Do you ever find yourself holding back from asking for what you need because it feels like too much effort? Or perhaps you feel embarrassed about your desires and don't dare speak them aloud. Maybe you think that if you were more successful, beautiful, confident, or happy then people would notice and judge you harshly. Perhaps you have been conditioned to believe that being vulnerable is weakness, so you avoid expressing your pain to protect others. But denying yourself the right to be fully human can cause lasting damage.
It may seem counterintuitive, but giving yourself permission to want, ache, and not perform is essential for mental wellbeing. When we suppress our emotions and needs, they build up and lead to resentment, depression, anxiety, anger, and frustration. Holding everything in creates a pressure cooker effect, eventually exploding into unhealthy behavior. If you give yourself permission to let go of shame and guilt around having wants and needs, you open up space for self-acceptance and healing. You may also discover new opportunities for connection and growth.
So how do you begin this process? Start by recognizing when you're feeling denied or stifled. Pay attention to your body language and thoughts. Do you cross your arms or look down when someone asks for help? Are you dismissive of your own ideas and feelings? Next, practice naming these emotions out loud. Notice where they are coming from and why they exist. Give yourself time and compassion to understand them fully before reacting. Finally, communicate clearly with those who matter most to you. Tell them what you need - whether it's an ear to listen or a hand to hold. Be honest about the difficulties you face without blaming them. Remember that no one has to agree with every request; respectful disagreement is acceptable. Most importantly, honor yourself enough to allow other people to see the real you.
By allowing yourself to express what's going on inside, you create room for vulnerability, honesty, trust, and love. Giving yourself permission to be human means being brave enough to admit that you can't always perform perfectly. It requires courage to show your flaws alongside your strengths. However, doing so builds resilience, authenticity, and genuine relationships. So take off the mask and step into the light - it will feel scary at first but worthwhile in the long run.