How to navigate trauma-induced changes in libido
Trauma is an experience that can cause lasting mental and physical effects in people. It can be emotional, physical, or psychological. Traumatic events affect individuals differently, and it's common for some to experience changes in their libido after a traumatic event. This change may be temporary or permanent. For couples experiencing a trauma-induced drop in libido, they must find ways to cope without internalizing the issue as personal or relational failures. Here are some strategies you can employ.
1. Talk about your fears and anxieties
When you have experienced a trauma, you may feel afraid or anxious. These feelings can interfere with your desire for sex. If this happens, talk about them openly and honestly with your partner. Share your concerns with them so they can understand what's going on. You need to communicate how you feel and why you might be having difficulties with sex. Your partner should be empathetic and supportive, even if they don't fully understand the situation. When you share your fears with each other, you will learn to trust each other more, making intimacy easier.
2. Discuss alternative forms of affection
Some couples choose not to engage in sexual activities but still want to express love and affection. There are many ways to do this besides sex. You can hold hands, hug, kiss, cuddle, or massage each other without being sexual. Do these things together until you feel comfortable enough to try again later. Express your appreciation for one another in nonsexual ways.
3. Be patient with yourself
It takes time to recover from trauma. Don't pressure yourself into doing something that makes you uncomfortable just because you think it'll please your partner. You might start by taking small steps toward intimacy, such as watching a movie together while holding hands. If you don't feel ready for sex, tell your partner how far you're willing to go at that moment. Give yourself time to heal and let your body adjust.
4. Seek help from a professional
You may need counseling to help you overcome your trauma. A therapist can provide individual or couple's counseling sessions to help you navigate difficult situations. They can also give you tools to manage stress and anxiety related to the trauma. Remember, there is no shame in seeking assistance when needed.
5. Explore new interests
Doing different activities together helps keep the spark alive in a relationship. Talk about trying new hobbies, going on adventures, cooking meals, or simply spending quality time together without sex. Discover new interests and passions you can share with each other outside of the bedroom. This will make you closer and more connected emotionally.
Navigating trauma-induced changes in libido requires patience and communication between couples. Couples should discuss their fears and concerns openly and work towards alternative forms of affection until they feel comfortable enough to try again. It would be best if couples sought help from professionals and explored new interests to maintain emotional connection. These strategies will ensure that you cope healthily and avoid internalizing the issue as personal or relational failures.
How do couples navigate trauma-induced changes in libido without internalizing them as personal or relational failures?
Couples can navigate trauma-induced changes in libido by adopting nonjudgmental attitudes towards themselves and their partner's sexual desires, seeking professional help from a therapist specialized in sex therapy when necessary, communicating openly about their needs, exploring alternative forms of intimacy and pleasure outside of intercourse, and rebuilding trust and confidence in each other through positive reinforcement and support.