As people strive to establish healthy romantic partnerships and cultivate deep bonds with their loved ones, many are unable to ignore the disruptions caused by unforeseen circumstances that impact the way they feel about themselves and others. Relationship traumas can include infidelity, divorce, loss of a child or partner, financial distress, betrayal, abuse, emotional isolation, health problems, mental illness, career challenges, natural disasters, accidents, or even political unrest.
It is possible for couples to navigate these obstacles together without abandoning one another. They can develop new patterns of affection, communication, and desire and work towards regaining the intimacy they once shared. Here are some ways that this can be done:
1. Establish open communication
When a couple faces adversity, it's important for them to communicate honestly and regularly about what each person needs and how they want to support one another. By being transparent and vulnerable with each other, they can build trust and understanding despite the stressors in their lives. It's also helpful if they practice active listening and empathy so that both parties feel heard and understood. This helps to create a safe space where they can express their fears and anxieties without judgment or criticism.
Checking-in daily through phone calls or texts can help keep lines of communication open when distance may prevent physical closeness.
2. Prioritize self-care
To maintain relational cohesion during trauma, individuals must prioritize their own well-being before seeking to meet the needs of their partners. Self-care involves activities such as exercise, relaxation techniques, meditation, therapy, or spending time alone. When people take care of themselves first, they are better equipped to show up for others with love and compassion. They can also encourage their partner to engage in similar practices to improve their mental health.
3. Cultivate new routines
When routine patterns have been disrupted by trauma, couples can develop new ones that reflect their current realities. This could include sharing household responsibilities, cooking meals together, or engaging in hobbies or interests that bring them joy. Couples should be creative and flexible in finding ways to spend quality time together while still honoring individual needs.
If one partner is working from home due to COVID-19 restrictions, it might involve taking breaks to chat throughout the day and scheduling regular date nights over video call.
4. Seek professional support
Seeking counseling can be an important step towards healing after a relationship trauma. A qualified therapist can provide guidance on how to communicate effectively, navigate difficult emotions, and rebuild trust between partners. They may also offer tools for managing stressors and developing coping strategies.
Couples' therapy can help identify areas where the couple can grow closer despite differences in experience or beliefs about the situation. By working through these challenges together, couples can emerge stronger than before.
5. Practice forgiveness
Forgiveness is essential when working through relational traumas. Holding grudges or refusing to forgive only serves to deepen wounds and create more distance between partners. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes or resentments, individuals should try to see things from their partner's perspective and work towards understanding and compassion. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting or condoning wrongdoing but rather acknowledging that both parties have made mistakes and are committed to moving forward positively.
How do couples maintain relational cohesion when trauma disrupts conventional patterns of affection, communication, and desire?
According to experts on interpersonal relationships, couples can preserve their relationship through mutual support, empathy, and active listening during times of stress. Relationship difficulties that arise due to unforeseen circumstances can be addressed by addressing them together as partners. It is essential for both parties to acknowledge each other's feelings and experiences and work towards understanding one another's perspective.