Strategies for Recovering Relational Equilibrium After Conflict
The key to recovery from conflicts in a relationship is to understand how to manage them appropriately, which means recognizing that they will arise even if you don't want them to. Knowing this helps keep expectations realistic. It also helps avoid getting stuck in negative patterns of blaming each other or trying to justify your own actions while criticizing the other person's behavior. This can lead to further conflict, frustration, and resentment.
Here are some strategies that can help you recover relational equilibrium after conflict:
1. Practice self-awareness. When there is tension between partners, it can be easy to jump into defense mode without considering what caused it in the first place. This is why practicing self-awareness is crucial when dealing with conflicts. By taking time out to reflect on yourself, you can identify where you may have contributed to the problem instead of simply blaming your partner. In doing so, you give both of you an opportunity to work together towards resolution.
2. Listen actively. Active listening involves paying attention, responding nonjudgmentally, paraphrasing, and asking questions to clarify information before expressing opinions or giving advice. It helps create mutual understanding and builds trust between partners. You should try to truly hear what your partner has to say rather than just waiting for your turn to talk.
3. Express feelings directly. Indirect communication can often cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Avoid using sarcasm or subtle jabs at your partner; instead, tell him/her exactly how you feel about a situation.
"I feel angry when you forget our plans" sounds more direct than "Why do you always disappoint me?" Remember, effective communication doesn't mean being right all the time - it means expressing your thoughts and emotions honestly and without judgment.
4. Consider each other's needs and perspectives. Conflicts don't arise from nowhere; they stem from differing points of view and interests. Therefore, recognizing that your partner has valid reasons for their opinion, even if you disagree with them, is essential. Try to understand their perspective by asking open-ended questions and showing empathy. Doing this makes it easier to compromise and find common ground.
5. Be willing to apologize and forgive. Forgiveness isn't about letting go of resentment but acknowledging that you were wrong in some way. Even if only partially, admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness so that both parties can move forward. This shows respect and maturity towards each other while building trust between you again. Also, remember that an apology doesn't mean saying sorry once and then expecting your partner to forget everything. It requires consistency over time as you work through challenges together.
6. Find ways to reconnect after conflict. After resolving issues, take some time out alone or engage in activities together such as going on dates or sharing laughter and fun. Reconnecting helps bring back positive feelings towards one another and reinforces your commitment to the relationship.
Recovering relational equilibrium after conflicts takes effort, patience, self-awareness, active listening, direct expression of emotions, consideration of each other's needs and perspectives, willingness to apologize and forgive, and reconnecting through shared experiences. Using these strategies allows couples to maintain a healthier dynamic in their relationships, thus improving intimacy, communication, and overall happiness within them.
References:
1. Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2018). The science of trust: Emotional attunement for couples. New York, NY: WW Norton & Company.
What strategies enable individuals to recover relational equilibrium after conflict?
Conflict can be defined as an incompatibility of ideas, goals, values, interests, or expectations that results in negative emotions between two parties. Recovering from a conflict requires both parties to engage in active communication and negotiate a solution that is mutually beneficial.