How can I stay excited about sex?
The idea that you are always supposed to be up for sex is unrealistic. For many people, being interested in sex is more like a roller coaster than an elevator ride - it goes down as well as up! You may have noticed that your interest in sex increases after falling in love and decreases when there are major life changes such as having children, moving house, starting a new job, or dealing with family problems. It's normal to feel that way; however, this doesn't mean you don't care about your partner or aren't attractive anymore. Here are some strategies for maintaining sexual excitement during major life transitions.
First, keep talking with your partner. Communication is essential in every aspect of a relationship, including your physical connection. Talk openly and honestly about what you want, need, and desire from your sex life. If one of you wants more intimacy while the other feels less interested, discuss ways to meet each other halfway. Try scheduling regular dates where you focus exclusively on each other without distractions. Find new places to get turned on together, whether it's at home or elsewhere. Be creative and experiment with different locations, times of day, and positions.
Second, try to reconnect emotionally. Major life changes often affect our emotional states. When you're stressed out, tired, or overwhelmed, it's hard to enjoy anything - let alone sex. Make sure you both take breaks from work and daily responsibilities to spend quality time together. Plan special evenings where you can relax, cuddle, watch movies, and just be together. Rekindling your romance will make your relationship stronger and help bring back the spark between you.
Third, understand how hormones play into your interest in sex. Your body goes through many changes throughout life, which can affect your libido. For example, menopause reduces estrogen levels, making women feel less sexy and more irritable, while low testosterone can lead to erectile dysfunction in men. See your doctor if these issues persist; they may recommend hormone replacement therapy or medications that boost sexual functioning.
Fourth, explore alternative forms of pleasure. Sex isn't just intercourse; there are many other pleasurable activities you can do with your partner, including sensual massages, exploring sexual fantasies, and role-playing. You might also consider trying out bondage or BDSM to add excitement and intensity to your relationship. Don't forget about nonsexual touches like holding hands, kissing, or cuddling, which can still be satisfying without penetration.
Finally, remember that sexual desire is a journey. If you find yourself struggling to stay aroused during major life transitions, don't worry! It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you or your partner. Instead, focus on connecting emotionally and physically in other ways until things return to normal. With patience, communication, creativity, and openness, you can maintain a vibrant and exciting sex life together for years to come.