When couples are together for some time, communication can become difficult due to the many layers that surround relationships, especially when it comes to sexual dissatisfaction. It is hard to talk about these topics without making your partner feel judged or uncomfortable. This article will give you tips on how to communicate sexual dissatisfaction constructively so that your relationship doesn't suffer because of it.
First, try to be specific about what you like and dislike in bed. Saying "you never touch me" won't help anyone figure out exactly what you want them to do differently. Instead, explain the type of touches, positions, or acts that would make you happy during intercourse. If you don't know what you want specifically, research sexual techniques online or read books on the subject. The more specific you are, the better chance they have at understanding your needs.
Second, practice active listening when communicating with your partner. Ask open-ended questions such as "what do you like most about sex?" instead of yes/no questions such as "do you ever think about something else while having sex?". When they answer, paraphrase back their response to ensure you understand correctly before moving forward with your own thoughts and feelings. Active listening shows respect and helps build a strong foundation for healthy communication.
Third, try not to blame each other for sexual dissatisfaction. Focus on the issue rather than assigning fault. For example, say "I'm worried we haven't been connecting lately," instead of "It's all your fault we don't have great sex." Avoid accusations, criticism, and sarcasm, which can damage trust between partners. Remember that both parties have equal responsibility for maintaining a healthy relationship!
Fourth, consider seeking professional help if needed. A therapist can provide an objective perspective and suggest exercises to improve intimacy within the relationship. They may also address underlying issues contributing to sexual dissatisfaction (such as past trauma) without making it personal against one another. Seeking counseling is a sign of strength in any relationship!