Intimacy is an important aspect of any romantic relationship, but it can be challenging to maintain when both partners are caring for aging parents or grandparents. The demands of caregiving, such as running errands, providing transportation, preparing meals, and attending doctor's appointments, can leave little time for couples to connect on an emotional level.
There are ways that couples can still prioritize intimacy while managing their responsibilities. Here are some tips to consider:
1. Schedule regular date nights. Even if it's just once a month, make a point of getting out of the house together without your family members and spending quality time alone. This could include going to dinner, seeing a movie, or simply taking a leisurely walk around the neighborhood. Make sure you plan these dates well in advance so they don't get bumped due to other obligations.
2. Communicate openly about your needs. Share what you need from each other emotionally and physically, and ask for support when you feel overwhelmed by caregiver stress. Be honest about how much time and energy you have available for intimate activities, and work together to find solutions that work for both of you.
3. Practice self-care. Taking care of yourself will help you be more present and engaged with your partner. Take breaks when needed, exercise regularly, and make time for hobbies and interests outside of caregiving. Self-care will also improve your mood and reduce feelings of burnout, which can lead to increased conflict with your loved one.
4. Consider respite care. If possible, seek assistance from family members, friends, or paid professionals to give you a break from caregiving duties. This can allow you to recharge and reconnect with your partner without feeling guilty about neglecting your family member's needs.
5. Don't forget about physical touch. Hold hands, cuddle on the couch, and kiss goodnight like you used to before caregiving entered your lives. These small gestures can go a long way towards maintaining emotional connection and intimacy.
How do couples maintain intimacy while caring for elderly relatives?
While the experience of caring for aging family members can bring couples closer together as they work towards a common goal of providing care, it may also place strain on their relationship. It is not uncommon for couples to report feeling more distant from one another when they are both involved with caregiving responsibilities, due to increased stress levels, exhaustion, and lack of time and energy to invest in each other.