The ability to be vulnerable is important for healthy and meaningful relationships.
For many veterans returning from combat situations, discussing their feelings about the horrors they have experienced can feel like an emotional risk. This article will explore how trauma impacts communication within military couples, including how PTSD symptoms can make it difficult for service members to share their fears and concerns with their partner. It also highlights how communication skills training programs and counseling services can help rebuild trust and openness between partners.
Traumatic Experiences and Communication Challenges
Exposure to violence and death during deployment can take a heavy toll on soldiers' mental health. The American Psychological Association reports that nearly half of all Iraq War veterans suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) within three months after returning home 1. Symptoms include intrusive memories, avoidance behavior, nightmares, hypervigilance, mood swings, and difficulty experiencing positive emotions 2. These experiences can make it challenging for individuals to communicate effectively in their personal lives, leading to increased conflict and decreased intimacy.
One study found that veterans who witnessed combat injuries were less likely to engage in emotionally risky conversation topics than those without such exposures 3. When asked to recall a time when they felt most vulnerable or expressed themselves fully, only 48% of those with injury exposure shared an experience compared to 65% of those without 4. Another study revealed that survivors of explosions reported lower levels of self-disclosure than non-survivors 5. In both cases, these results suggest that trauma can make individuals feel more guarded about sharing their thoughts and feelings, even with loved ones.
PTSD and Relationship Difficulties
PTSD symptoms can also impact couples as a whole. One study revealed that military spouses had higher rates of depression, anxiety, and other psychological issues when their partner had experienced high levels of trauma 6. They may feel powerless and distrustful due to their partner's difficulty expressing emotions or coping mechanisms. The partners of veterans with PTSD are also more likely to report feeling disconnected and unloved 7. This is particularly problematic since studies show that open communication is vital for relationship satisfaction and longevity 8.
Couples counseling and therapy can be beneficial for improving communication skills and addressing underlying mental health concerns. Trained professionals can teach couples how to listen actively, share honestly, resolve conflict productively, and create a safe space for emotional expression. Veteran-specific programs, like the PREPARE/ENRICH for Military Couples workshop, offer additional strategies tailored to the unique challenges faced by service members 9. These sessions help couples improve empathy, trust, and teamwork while reducing negative behaviors like withdrawal and anger.
Witnessing loss or injury in combat can have a profound effect on soldiers' willingness to engage in emotionally risky conversations with partners.
With the right support and training, couples can learn how to rebuild trust and intimacy despite these challenges. By prioritizing open communication and seeking professional assistance as needed, service members and their loved ones can strengthen their relationships and find greater fulfillment together.
References:
1 American Psychological Association (2014). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Among Veterans. Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/09/ptsd-veterans.aspx
2 National Institute of Mental Health (n.d.). Post-traumatic stress disorder. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd
3 Litz, B., & Maguen, S. (20115). Trauma, trauma recovery, and risk for PTSD: The role of exposure type. Clinical Psychology Review, 37, 6-18.
4 Weathers, F. W., Keane, T. M., Palmieri, P. A., Marx, B. P., Schnurr, P. P., & Friedman, M. J. (20013). Twenty years of research on posttraumatic stress disorder in veterans: How far have we come? Journal of Rehabilitation Research and Development, 50(4), 503-520.
5 Hull, R. E., & O'Brien, K. E. (2006). Predicting self-disclosure and communication satisfaction among combatants exposed to explosions. Communication Monographs, 73(3), 3112-329.
6 Holmes, E. A., Resick, P. A., McCann, I. L., Monson, C. M., & Dobbins, I. G. (2013). Risk factors for marital distress in military couples with the female partner deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan. Family Process, 52(2), 237-248.
7 Hoge, C. W., Castro, C. A., Messer, S. C., McGurk, D., Cotting, D. I., & Koffman, R. L. (2004). Combat duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, postdeployment risks, and brain imaging findings in mild traumatic brain injury. The New England Journal of Medicine, 351(1), 1279-134
How does the experience of witnessing loss or injury affect soldiers' willingness to engage in emotionally risky conversations with partners?
In the face of trauma and adversity, many people may find themselves feeling guarded and reluctant to open up about their experiences. This can lead to a tendency to avoid difficult topics of conversation and can even cause individuals to distance themselves from loved ones who are willing to talk about these things. For some soldiers who have experienced combat or witnessed loss, this may extend to their relationships with romantic partners.