Emotional expectations are thoughts and feelings that people have about how they think their lives will play out in certain situations. These can vary depending on individual personality traits, past experiences, social contexts, and cultural norms. Relational transitions refer to changes in romantic or platonic relationships between two people. During these times, it is common for individuals to experience various emotions such as hope, anxiety, joy, sadness, fear, anticipation, excitement, and more. Managing emotional expectations during relational transitions requires understanding one's own needs and preferences and being able to communicate them effectively with others. It also involves being open to new possibilities and adjusting expectations accordingly. This article provides insights into this process from an academic perspective, drawing on empirical research studies.
In the context of a breakup, some common emotional expectations include feeling lonely, depressed, angry, rejected, confused, and hopeless.
Someone who was in a long-term relationship may feel like they need time to heal before starting a new one. They might be afraid of getting hurt again or worry that they won't find anyone else who meets all their criteria. In contrast, someone who has been single for a while might feel excited about the potential for meeting new people and experiencing new things. Studies suggest that individuals tend to have different coping strategies based on whether they were the initiator or the receiver of the breakup (Bradbury et al., 2018). Those who initiated the breakup may feel relief and even pride at taking control of their lives, while those who received the news may feel betrayed and humiliated. It is important to acknowledge and validate these feelings without judgment, as both parties can struggle with complex emotions.
When entering a new romantic relationship, people often experience high hopes and dreams, which can be both exciting and frightening. Expectations about how the relationship will develop over time are critical here. Will it stay casual or become more serious? What kind of commitment will each person make? How much time and energy will be invested in the relationship? Research suggests that many couples idealize their partners early on, leading to unrealistic expectations (Little & Cashmore, 2007). This can lead to disappointment and conflict down the line if those expectations aren't met. Effective communication is essential here, such as setting clear boundaries, being honest about needs and desires, and discussing any concerns openly.
In platonic relationships, such as friendships, emotional expectations also play a role. Friends may hope for support, empathy, acceptance, fun, loyalty, and other qualities from one another.
Realizing that friends sometimes disagree or let us down can help manage our emotional expectations by creating space for forgiveness and growth. A study found that individuals who were able to reframe their expectations around friendship after experiencing disappointments had better outcomes than those who held onto rigid notions (Bernard et al., 2018).
Rather than expecting lifelong best friends who always agree, we might focus on finding compatible companions with whom we share some interests and values.
The process of managing emotional expectations during relational transitions requires self-awareness, effective communication, and an ability to adapt to new circumstances. By understanding our own needs and preferences, communicating them clearly with others, and being willing to adjust our expectations over time, we can navigate these changes more smoothly and build healthier relationships in the long term.
How do individuals manage emotional expectations during relational transitions?
Individuals can manage their emotions by identifying and understanding the underlying cause of the emotion, acknowledging and accepting it, practicing mindfulness techniques like meditation or breathing exercises, and seeking support from friends, family, or therapists. They may also engage in self-care activities like exercise, hobbies, or journaling to cope with difficult emotions. Communication and openness about feelings are important in managing these expectations.