Sexual self-confidence is an individual's belief that they are capable and worthy of having satisfying sexual experiences with others. This concept has been linked to various positive outcomes such as greater willingness to pursue romantic partnerships, higher levels of communication during intimate interactions, improved sexual performance, and enhanced physical attraction towards oneself and one's partner.
Research suggests that self-esteem can enhance relationship quality by increasing individuals' feelings of security, trustworthiness, attachment, and commitment. Thus, it seems reasonable to expect that increased confidence will also positively impact relational stability.
There is limited evidence supporting this assumption.
This article aims to explore the ways in which self-confidence may affect sexual activity, satisfaction, and relational stability. To do so, we will examine existing literature on the topic and consider potential mechanisms through which this construct could exert its effects. We will then discuss implications for future research, clinical practice, and public health initiatives aimed at promoting positive sexual wellbeing across the lifespan.
The influence of sexual self-confidence on overall sexual activity appears to be multifaceted.
Confident individuals may be more likely to engage in sexual behaviors due to their perceptions of themselves as desirable and attractive. They may also feel more comfortable initiating sexual encounters or expressing their needs and desires.
They may be more likely to experiment with different types of sexual activities, exploring new techniques, positions, and fantasies.
Confident individuals may have an easier time negotiating boundaries, consent, and safety in sexual relationships.
The precise nature of these associations remains unclear. Some studies suggest that greater self-confidence is associated with higher rates of sexual activity among both men and women (e.g., Dillon & Wentland, 2016). Others report no significant relationship between the two variables (e.g., Rhoades et al., 2018). In addition, some findings indicate that increased confidence may not necessarily increase the frequency of sex but instead enhance its quality (e.g., Kashyap & McKinney, 2019).
The impact of self-confidence on satisfaction in sexual interactions appears similarly nuanced. On one hand, self-esteem can foster greater feelings of comfort, acceptance, and appreciation during intimate experiences (Namie & Janssen, 2013; Sprecher, 2002). Confident individuals are less likely to experience performance anxiety or worry about meeting their partner's expectations, allowing them to fully immerse themselves in the moment.
Other research suggests that this construct may actually undermine satisfaction by increasing people's expectations for flawless sexual experiences (Schmitt, 2014). Highly confident partners may become dissatisfied when they fail to live up to their own idealized standards, leading to negative emotions such as shame, embarrassment, or guilt.
There is mixed evidence regarding the influence of self-confidence on relational stability. While some studies have found a positive association between self-esteem and commitment in romantic relationships (e.g., Balswick et al., 2015), others suggest that it may be related to greater conflict and instability over time (e.g., Wong, Chang, & Holt, 2018). One possibility is that higher levels of self-confidence can promote relationship ambivalence, with individuals feeling more entitled to leave when they are unhappy. Alternatively, confidence could lead to increased investment in long-term relationships by making individuals more willing to work through challenges and maintain emotional closeness.
While the current literature provides some insights into how self-confidence affects various aspects of sexuality, much remains unknown. Future research should seek to explore these associations across different populations, contexts, and measures of sexual behavior. In particular, longitudinal designs would allow us to understand how changes in confidence predict changes in outcomes over time. Clinical interventions aimed at improving sexual functioning might also focus on cultivating feelings of worthiness and competence in clients.
Public health efforts targeting young adults, college students, and marginalized groups could emphasize strategies for building confidence and addressing its potential pitfalls.
How does increased sexual self-confidence influence overall sexual activity, satisfaction, and relational stability?
Sexual confidence can lead to an increase in sexual activity, as individuals who feel comfortable with their bodies are more likely to initiate and engage in sexual encounters with partners. It may also lead to greater satisfaction as they are less anxious about performing during sex and can be more open to exploring new experiences. Additionally, sexual confidence can positively impact relational stability by fostering better communication and trust between partners, which can contribute to stronger bonds and longer-lasting relationships.