Stoicism is the ancient Greek philosophy that teaches people to suppress their emotions and live in accordance with nature's laws. Professional stoics are often described as unemotional, rational, objective, and self-controlled individuals who can cope with difficult situations without letting them affect their behavior. Stoicism was initially developed for military commanders who needed to maintain their composure in times of war.
The practice has been applied more broadly to business leaders, politicians, and athletes, among others. Although this may sound like an admirable quality, it can lead to many problems when applied to interpersonal relationships.
Emotional suppression refers to the conscious decision to repress one's feelings, thoughts, or desires. This can manifest in different ways such as avoiding certain topics of conversation, ignoring painful memories, or minimizing negative emotions. People may feel ashamed of expressing their vulnerability, fear being judged, or believe they should always be strong. Some reasons behind emotional suppression include childhood trauma, low self-esteem, cultural norms, and lack of emotional literacy.
When professional stoicism and emotional suppression are combined, they can negatively impact relational development. Here are some possible effects:
1. Inhibited expression of emotions: People may struggle to communicate their needs, preferences, and boundaries effectively if they have difficulty identifying and expressing their emotions. This can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and resentment.
2. Lack of intimacy: Relationships thrive on open communication and vulnerability. If people suppress their feelings, they cannot connect emotionally, which can make them feel distant from each other.
3. Unmet needs: When people don't express their emotions, they may not get their needs met by their partner. They may become frustrated, resentful, or even depressed.
4. Poor problem-solving skills: Emotions provide valuable information about what is happening in a relationship. Without this feedback, people may not know how to address issues constructively.
5. Impaired trust: Trust is essential for healthy relationships. When people withhold information or hide their true thoughts and feelings, it can erode trust over time.
6. Difficulty regulating emotions: People who are used to suppressing their feelings may find it challenging to manage their emotions when they arise. They may have outbursts or shut down entirely, damaging the relationship further.
To overcome these issues, people need to learn how to express their emotions in a safe environment and work through past trauma or shame. It can also be helpful to practice mindfulness techniques that help regulate emotions and increase self-awareness. By acknowledging and accepting their feelings, people can develop healthier ways of coping with difficult situations.
How do professional stoicism and emotional suppression interfere with relational development?
Research suggests that individuals who suppress their emotions may face challenges in developing healthy relationships. This is because professional stoicism and emotional suppression can lead to difficulties in expressing oneself emotionally, which is crucial for building meaningful connections with others. Individuals who struggle to communicate their feelings effectively may find it difficult to establish trust and intimacy in their romantic or platonic partnerships.