Sexual problems are common among veterans. In general, they can result from various factors such as physical injuries or traumas related to war experiences. These may include genital injury, pelvic fractures, spinal cord damage, brain damage, or psychological issues like PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), depression, anxiety, substance abuse, or suicidal ideation.
Some veterans experience emotional withdrawal or numbness when it comes to sexual activities. This is often referred to as anhedonia, which involves a loss of interest in things that used to bring pleasure. It can happen for several reasons, including depressive symptoms and fear of rejection due to past failures or relationship problems. Veterans experiencing anhedonia may also have difficulties initiating or maintaining sex, feeling uncomfortable during sex, or having negative thoughts about their bodies or partners. The good news is that this problem can be solved if both partners work together. Here's how they should do it:
1. Have open communication
Communication plays a vital role in maintaining sexual satisfaction because it helps partners understand each other better. When one partner is experiencing anhedonia, they need someone who will listen attentively and support them emotionally. They must know their feelings and needs before any attempts at improving their sexual life. Partners should discuss what causes anhedonia, its effects on their lives, and possible solutions.
The affected partner may say something like "I feel anxious whenever we start having sex" or "I don't enjoy kissing anymore." As such, the other partner should show genuine concern and help find ways to alleviate the issue. One way is by helping with foreplay or exploring new positions and fantasies.
2. Find alternative activities
The couple can explore different sexual practices that suit the mood of both partners. This means trying out various things until they find what works best for them. It could include romantic dates, cuddling, massages, and sensual touches like holding hands or stroking each other's hair. Partners should avoid pressure or expectations but instead focus on enjoying each other's company in a non-sexual way.
These activities can help ease anxiety and promote intimacy between the couple, which may eventually lead to improved sexual performance.
It's essential to remember that not all couples are comfortable with this approach since some might consider it boring or unexciting.
3. Seek professional help
Partners should seek medical advice if they believe their problems are beyond their control. A doctor can diagnose and treat physical injuries or diseases that affect sexual function. They can also recommend medication, psychotherapy, or counseling to address mental health issues. Veterans suffering from PTSD often benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps change negative thoughts and behaviors associated with trauma. Medications such as SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) can be helpful when anhedonia results from depression. In addition, sex therapists can assist veterans who want to improve their sexual relationships by teaching communication skills, eroticism techniques, and ways to deal with emotional withdrawal during intercourse. These experts may suggest using props or lubricants to enhance pleasure and minimize discomfort.
4. Be patient and understanding
Patience is key when dealing with partners experiencing sexual dysfunction due to anhedonia. The affected partner must understand that their problem may take months or years to overcome. It will be impossible for them to feel aroused again immediately after being numb for so long. Partners should avoid criticizing each other but instead offer support and encouragement. They need time to adjust and find the perfect balance between intimacy and desire. Also, they shouldn't blame themselves for feeling distant during sex or assume that their partner doesn't love them anymore. Both parties should accept that everyone goes through rough patches in life and remain open-minded about trying new things together.
How do partners maintain sexual satisfaction when veterans experience emotional withdrawal or numbness?
Partners may play an important role in helping their military partner experiencing emotional numbness or withdrawal to regain sexual satisfaction. It is essential for them to understand that these reactions are normal consequences of traumatic experiences. They should communicate openly about their feelings, needs, desires, fears, and concerns regarding sex.