The return home of a partner who has served in war is an important event for both the returning soldier and their loved ones.
It can also be a difficult time, marked by changes in behavior and communication that may create challenges in the relationship. These changes are often due to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is a mental health condition that affects many veterans. In this article, I will describe how individuals cope with these emotional shifts and offer advice for navigating them effectively.
It is important to understand why PTSD can cause a "stranger" effect in a returning partner. When soldiers experience trauma, they often see things that they cannot unsee or forget, such as death, violence, destruction, and horror. This can have lasting effects on their mental state and lead to symptoms like nightmares, flashbacks, and hypervigilance. As a result, they may feel disconnected from their former selves and struggle to reintegrate into civilian life. This can be especially true when it comes to relationships, as the person they knew before is no longer there.
One way to cope with this shift is to give your partner space to process their experiences and adjust to civilian life. Letting them express their feelings and emotions without judgment is crucial. It's also helpful to avoid making assumptions about what they need and simply ask them if you have questions or concerns.
It can be helpful to seek professional help for your own mental health needs so that you can provide support to your partner while also taking care of yourself.
Another way to navigate the "stranger" effect is to practice patience and understanding. Your partner may seem distant or withdrawn at first, but this does not mean that they do not love you or want to be close. They are just adjusting to a new reality and need time to heal. Be patient, show affection even when they don't initiate it, and let them know that you are there for them.
Consider attending couples therapy together to address any communication issues or other challenges related to PTSD. A trained counselor can provide valuable insights and tools for navigating these shifts and strengthening your relationship.
Coping with the return home requires compassion, empathy, and mutual understanding. By working together as partners, you can build a stronger bond than ever before.
How do individuals cope with the disorienting emotional shift when a partner returns from war feeling like a “stranger”?
The emotional disorientation that results when a returning soldier experiences a sense of being unfamiliar with their loved ones can be overwhelming for both parties. This is due to changes in social roles, habits, communication styles, interests, and physical appearance that may have occurred while they were away. The situation often leads to feelings of rejection, fear, confusion, guilt, jealousy, anxiety, and mistrust.