One's ability to fulfill one's own emotional needs can be described as self-sufficiency. In this context, self-sufficiency refers to one's capacity to satisfy all of their needs without depending on others. It is essential for building strong interpersonal connections because it allows each partner to maintain their sense of identity while also fostering closeness with their significant other.
What occurs when an individual is deficient in certain facets of life? When they lack the ability to meet a particular need themselves, they may become dependent on another person to do so. Dependence feeds on emotional scarcity and the illusion of completeness through another.
Emotional Scarcity
When someone lacks the ability to provide themselves with something that is necessary, such as affection, validation, attention, reassurance, or emotional support, they often experience a void within them. This is known as emotional deprivation, which causes one to feel incomplete or lacking in some way. Due to this feeling of incompletion, one may seek out a partner who can provide what they are missing. The dependency then arises from this emotional void that one feels. Without filling up this void, one cannot truly be satisfied.
Illusion of Completeness
The second element that contributes to dependence is the belief that a partner will complete them emotionally. Individuals who depend on their partners for emotional satisfaction frequently believe they require external factors to fulfill their needs rather than working toward attaining them independently. They mistakenly think that their partner will fill every gap in their lives, resulting in an illusory notion that everything will be perfect once they have found 'the One.' This idea leads people down a path of disappointment when their relationship eventually fails to deliver on its promises. Instead, individuals should strive to improve their self-sufficiency by learning how to meet their own emotional requirements rather than seeking to rely on others.
Dependence springs from both emotional scarcity and the illusion of completeness through another. By addressing these underlying factors, individuals can take charge of their own emotional wellbeing, leading to more satisfying relationships based on genuine intimacy and mutual respect rather than dependency.
How does dependency feed on emotional scarcity and the illusion of completeness through another?
In a dependent relationship, there may be an underlying sense that one person is not complete without the other, leading to a fear of abandonment and a need for constant reassurance. This can lead to feelings of emptiness and vulnerability when alone, which makes it difficult to trust in oneself and others.