Sexuality is an important part of every person's life, and it can be difficult to navigate for those who have experienced shame around their sexual desires or fantasies. Rebuilding sexual confidence is possible but requires time, patience, self-reflection, and communication. Here are some steps that may help:
1) Identify your triggers: What causes you to feel ashamed? Examine your feelings around past experiences that caused shame. Pinpoint what made you feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, or judged, then identify any patterns in those experiences. Consider how these experiences may still affect your current thoughts and actions related to sex.
2) Recognize your values: What do you value about yourself and your sexuality? Take stock of positive qualities such as openness, curiosity, and respect, then recognize them in yourself. Reflect on why they matter and how they contribute to fulfillment.
3) Practice acceptance: Accept yourself without judgment, including all aspects of your sexuality. Focus on finding pleasure rather than conforming to external expectations.
4) Talk to others: Find supportive friends or professionals who understand sexuality. Share your struggles without judgment, and ask for feedback if needed.
5) Seek education: Learn more about healthy sexuality through books, articles, videos, classes, etc., focusing on topics like consent, communication, boundaries, and intimacy.
6) Try new things: Be curious about exploring different sensations and scenarios safely with a partner(s). Discuss desires and negotiate limits beforehand to build trust and reduce anxiety.
7) Seek professional help: A therapist can provide safe space to explore emotions and develop strategies to manage shame and improve communication skills. They may also suggest specific techniques to increase confidence and pleasure during sex.
8) Celebrate progress: Reflect regularly on successes and setbacks, celebrating small steps towards greater self-acceptance and comfort. Remember that rebuilding sexual confidence takes time and effort, but it is possible with persistence and compassion.