How to Rebuild Sexual Confidence After Past Sexual Trauma?
Sexual trauma is an event that causes intense emotional distress from a sexual experience. It can be physical, verbal, or visual abuse or anything else you find upsetting or frightening. Sexual trauma can happen at any age, but it's more common in childhood and adolescence. People who have experienced sexual trauma may feel ashamed, fearful, guilty, and powerless. They may also blame themselves for what happened and feel like they are damaged goods. Rebuilding confidence after sexual trauma is possible, but it takes time and effort. This article will guide you through the steps necessary to rebuild your sexual confidence.
Step 1: Talk About Your Experience With Trusted Friends Or Family Members
Talking about your experience can help you process it and get support. You don't need to go into detail unless you want to; talking about how you're feeling can be enough. If you don't have anyone to talk to, consider reaching out to a therapist. Therapy can provide a safe space where you can explore your feelings without judgment. Additionally, you can join a support group for people who have experienced similar things. Being around others who understand what you've been through can be comforting.
Step 2: Learn More About What Happened
Knowledge is power. Learning more about the dynamics of sexual violence can give you control over your situation. Understanding the warning signs of sexual assault and what to do if something happens can empower you. Knowing that what happened was not your fault can also help. If you don't know much about sexual trauma, start by reading books, articles, and watching movies or documentaries on the topic. Ask questions and seek out resources for further information.
Step 3: Practice Self-Care Activities
Self-care activities include anything that makes you feel good physically and emotionally. It might be exercise, yoga, meditation, massage, art therapy, or journaling. Doing these things regularly can improve your mood and reduce stress levels. Taking care of yourself can also boost self-esteem. Make time for self-care daily so that it becomes part of your routine.
Step 4: Reconnect With Your Body
Your body has gone through trauma, but it's still yours. Rebuilding trust with it is essential. Start slowly by exploring touch in a non-sexual way. Try massages, baths, or other sensory experiences. When you're ready, try wearing clothing that feels comfortable and expresses who you are. You may also consider getting intimate with yourself, starting with simple pleasures like stroking your skin or taking a bubble bath. The key is to go at your own pace and listen to your body's cues.
Step 5: Set Boundaries And Limits
Setting boundaries and limits means deciding what you will and won't tolerate in relationships. This includes physical contact, communication, and emotional support. It takes practice, so be patient with yourself as you learn. If someone crosses your boundary, communicate that you've set it and stick to it. You have every right to say no without explanation.
Step 6: Build Trust With New Partners
Building trust with new partners involves setting clear expectations early on and following through. Communication is vital because you know your needs better than anyone else. Be honest about your past experiences and ask questions to determine if they feel safe. Take things slow and pay attention to red flags. Sex should never feel forced, scary, or confusing. If something doesn't feel right, stop and talk about it.
Step 7: Practice Intimacy Skills
Intimacy skills include communication, touch, eye contact, and affection. These can be challenging when dealing with trauma, but practicing them can help rebuild confidence. Start by talking openly with friends and family about your feelings. Then, try initiating touch with people close to you, like hugs or hand-holding. As you gain comfort, move onto more intimate activities like kissing and cuddling. Remember, there are no rules; do what feels good for you.
Rebuilding sexual confidence after past sexual trauma takes time and effort. However, the journey is worth it. By taking these steps, you can start feeling comfortable in your body again and build healthy relationships based on mutual respect and care. Don't rush yourself - take breaks when needed and go at a pace that feels right. Remember that healing is an ongoing process, so give yourself grace as you work towards your goals.