LGBT couples are no different from heterosexual couples when it comes to facing the challenges that come with military deployments.
They face additional obstacles due to societal prejudices towards their relationship status. Military culture is traditionally conservative and often promotes conformity, which can create unique difficulties for LGBT couples who may already feel isolated within their units. Deployments can cause strain on even the most solid of marriages, but add in the extra stressors of being apart from one's partner and potentially dealing with discrimination or harassment, and it becomes even more difficult to maintain emotional security. It is crucial that LGBT couples take steps to ensure that they are able to stay connected and trusting throughout the deployment process. Here are some strategies that have been proven effective in helping them do just that.
1. Communication is key - One of the biggest factors in maintaining intimacy during deployment is communication between partners. This means talking about everything, including sexual desires, feelings, worries, fears, and frustrations. Be open and honest with your partner about what you need emotionally and physically, and listen carefully to their needs as well. Make sure that both of you are on the same page regarding expectations while apart. Agree upon a plan for how frequently you will communicate, whether through phone calls, emails, video chats, or letters. Discuss ways to keep each other updated on important developments in your lives (such as new friends, hobbies, work projects).
2. Plan ahead - Planning can help alleviate stress and anxiety during deployments by providing structure and routine. Decide together what activities you would like to engage in while apart (such as reading books, writing letters, watching movies, or participating in online groups) and make time for these activities regularly. Agree upon specific times when you will talk or text so that neither person feels neglected or forgotten.
3. Build support systems - Building relationships within your unit can be especially challenging for LGBT service members, but having people around who understand your situation can provide much-needed emotional support. Seek out fellow LGBT service members who may be going through similar experiences or join organizations that promote diversity and inclusion. You might also consider finding an ally within your unit or command who can act as a liaison between you and your partner.
4. Keep busy - Boredom and isolation can lead to depression, which can put strain on any relationship. Find activities to fill your free time and stay occupied during deployment. This could mean anything from learning a new skill or sport to volunteering with local charities. Stay connected to your partner by sharing photos and stories of your adventures.
5. Practice patience - Military deployments are often unpredictable, so it is essential to practice patience when dealing with them. Try not to rush the process and allow yourself time to adjust to being apart. Be patient with your partner and don't expect everything to go back to normal immediately after reuniting. It takes time to regain trust and intimacy, so give each other space and avoid jumping into old routines too quickly.
6. Explore new interests - Deployments can be a great opportunity for personal growth, so try exploring hobbies or activities that you never had time for before. Whether it's writing poetry, cooking exotic foods, or practicing yoga, this can help pass the time and improve your mental health.
It will create more opportunities for conversation when you reunite.
7. Seek professional help - If you find yourself struggling emotionally during deployment, seek out professional help from a counselor or therapist. This can provide much-needed support and guidance in navigating difficult situations. Don't hesitate to reach out if you need additional assistance.
What strategies enable LGBT couples to maintain intimacy, trust, and emotional security in deployments?
LGBT couples have numerous ways to maintain intimacy, trust, and emotional security during deployments. One of them is using technology like video calls, social media platforms, and messaging apps to stay connected with each other. These tools allow individuals to share their daily lives, experience new things together, and reminisce on shared memories despite physical distance. Another strategy is setting up regular communication times and keeping each other updated about events or feelings that matter.