Cognitive distortion is the tendency to perceive reality in an irrational way that leads to negative feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. It can arise from many sources, including social media and online pornography. In this article, I will discuss how comparing one's sex life to what they see online can lead to negative self-image and relationship issues.
Online Pornography
The amount of online porn available today is staggering. Many people have access to it, whether through their mobile phones or computers. This ease of access has led to an increase in the consumption of pornographic material among young adults. The average age at which children are exposed to online pornography is now between 10 and 12 years old. While some may find porn entertaining, others become addicted and develop unrealistic expectations about sexuality. They may believe that all sex should be as graphic and exotic as what they see online.
Comparisons
Comparing one's own sex life to what they see online is a form of cognitive distortion. It is based on the idea that everyone else's sex lives are better than theirs.
If someone watches porn where a woman is constantly orgasming during intercourse, they may feel like something is wrong with them because they don't always experience multiple orgasms. Comparisons can also cause insecurities about body image. If someone sees a woman with large breasts having sex, they may think their small breasts are inferior and try to get breast implants.
Relationship Issues
Comparisons can also affect relationships. People who compare themselves to others may start to doubt their partners and question their intimacy. If one person has watched more porn than their partner, for instance, they may assume that their partner isn't satisfied with them or that they aren't doing enough to please them. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment.
Comparisons can erode trust and intimacy in a relationship.
Online pornography can create negative cognitive distortions that harm people's self-image and relationships. By recognizing when these distortions arise, individuals can take steps to combat them and find healthier ways to approach sex and relationships.
What cognitive distortions arise from comparing one's sex life to carefully curated portrayals online?
Cognitive distortion is defined as “a way of thinking that exaggerates or minimizes situations and makes them more negative than they actually are” (Cherry). In this regard, engaging with curated online content about sex may lead individuals to experience several types of cognitive distortions, such as catastrophizing, magnifying, and minimizing the impact of their sexual experiences.