Sexual trust may be defined as the belief that one's partner will not do anything that could hurt them physically or emotionally during a sexual encounter, including physical violation, emotional manipulation, infidelity, violence, or verbal abuse. It can take time to build this trust, but it is often broken when someone experiences traumatic events such as abuse, neglect, betrayal, or PTSD.
When someone has been through high-stress environments, they may feel unsafe and untrustworthy of their own bodies and desires. They may doubt themselves and wonder if they are worthy of love and respect. This can cause them to shut down emotionally and avoid intimate situations altogether. It takes courage for people to open up again after experiencing these things, but there are ways to reconstruct trust in the bedroom.
1. Start with self-love: When someone doesn't trust themselves, they cannot fully trust others. Healing from trauma begins with learning to love oneself and accept who they are, flaws and all. Take care of your body, mind, and spirit by eating well, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities you enjoy. Learn about boundaries and how to set and enforce them. Set aside time each day for meditation, prayer, or journaling.
2. Talk openly: Communication is key to any healthy relationship. If something makes you uncomfortable, say so without fear of judgment or reprisal. Discuss your needs and desires honestly and clearly. This allows partners to understand each other better and build trust over time. Be willing to listen to feedback and make adjustments to create a safe space for both parties.
3. Practice patience: Reconstruction takes time. Don't rush into physical intimacy until both partners feel ready. Start slow with kissing, cuddling, holding hands, and massage. Move on when both parties agree it's time. Build trust slowly and give yourself and your partner the chance to learn what works best for you.
4. Seek professional help: Sometimes, healing requires outside assistance. A therapist can help individuals work through past traumas, explore their feelings, and identify patterns that may be harmful to relationships. A sex therapist can also assist in rebuilding trust and confidence around sexuality. They can offer advice on communication, consent, safety measures, and more.
5. Be present: Stay focused on the moment rather than worrying about the future. When having sex, focus on sensations and emotions rather than thoughts about your partner or yourself. Pay attention to body language and words to ensure everyone feels safe and comfortable. Try new things together but don't pressure anyone to do anything they aren't comfortable with.
Trust is not something that happens overnight, even after trauma or high-stress environments. It takes courage, vulnerability, and consistency to rebuild trust in any relationship. By taking care of oneself, communicating openly, practicing patience, seeking help as needed, and being present during sex, people can start to repair sexual trust. With time and effort, this trust will strengthen and grow.
How is sexual trust reconstructed after exposure to trauma or high-stress environments?
Sexual intimacy and trust are key components of any romantic relationship. When one partner experiences a traumatic event or stressful environment, it can have a significant impact on their ability to be sexually intimate with their partner. This can lead to feelings of betrayal, distrust, and resentment from the non-traumatized partner. Reconstructing sexual trust requires both partners to work together towards repairing the damage caused by the trauma or stress.