The word "trauma" refers to an intense emotional response that can occur after experiencing or witnessing a deeply distressing event. This could include natural disasters such as earthquakes or tsunamis, man-made catastrophes like terrorist attacks, war zones, car accidents, rape or abuse, death of loved ones, etc. Traumatic events often leave psychological scars which affect both body and mind. Physical touch is one of the most fundamental human needs for attachment and connection, yet trauma has a way of altering this experience. In this article, I will discuss how trauma changes the meaning of physical touch, especially when it comes to sex, sexuality, intimacy, and romance.
Trauma victims may be more sensitive to physical contact than other people. Even though they long for comfort from others, they may find it hard to feel safe enough to accept or initiate close contact due to past painful experiences. They might also become easily triggered and anxious about being touched. They may struggle with trust issues and fear of rejection, making them hesitant to open up or let anyone get too close physically. As a result, their relationship with touch becomes complicated, leading to confusion in relationships.
Trauma can cause hyperarousal symptoms, whereby one feels constantly alert and on edge. This makes it challenging to relax and enjoy physical closeness with partners. Touch can trigger anxiety, panic attacks, flashbacks of bad memories, or bodily responses like increased heart rate and breathing rate. It's not uncommon for trauma survivors to avoid physical contact altogether, seeking isolation instead of intimate moments.
Trauma alters our perception of touch, making us perceive even normal interactions as unsafe.
A hug from someone could remind us of the abuse we experienced earlier in life, causing us to feel scared, threatened, or vulnerable. We may associate certain sensations, like pressure, with danger rather than pleasure, thus seeing physical touch as something dangerous rather than healing. Trauma victims are less likely to respond positively to affectionate gestures, and this affects how they receive love and care from others.
Trauma also changes our sexuality and eroticism. Our bodies have a way of reacting differently during arousal after traumatic events, such as increased heartbeat, body temperature, muscle tension, sweating, etc. These changes can make sex awkward and painful, resulting in negative experiences that reinforce fear and mistrust. Victims might become numb to touch due to desensitization or dissociation, affecting their ability to connect physically with partners. They may experience difficulty achieving orgasm, preferring solo masturbation over partnered sex.
Trauma has an adverse effect on our relationship with touch. While it's natural for all humans to need physical contact, it becomes difficult when past trauma clouds our ability to experience it safely and comfortably. The good news is that therapy can help individuals process these traumas and overcome them gradually so they can return to living fulfilling lives. It takes time, effort, and professional guidance to rewire our minds and hearts towards healthy relationships based on trust, intimacy, and emotional safety.
How does trauma alter the meaning of physical touch?
Trauma can change how we perceive physical touch because it affects our body's response to sensory stimuli. When someone has experienced trauma, their nervous system may become hypervigilant, making them more sensitive to any kind of touch. This means that even a light touch on the arm or shoulder can cause distress or fear. Additionally, trauma survivors often feel disconnected from themselves and others, leading them to avoid physical contact altogether.