Sexual confidence is built on self-esteem and trust in one's own abilities to please oneself and another partner physically and emotionally. When this sense of competence is damaged through traumatic events such as rape, assault, betrayal, or prolonged periods of isolation from romantic partners, it can take time to heal.
There are ways to build back up sexual confidence and desire gradually. This article will outline some practical steps that individuals can take to regain their sexual prowess after life has knocked them down.
The first step towards rebuilding sexual confidence and desire is to acknowledge that they exist at all. Many people who have experienced relational setbacks or extended periods of inactivity may feel ashamed of their lack of sexual desires or abilities, but this is an understandable reaction to negative experiences. It is essential to accept that these feelings are natural, valid, and temporary. The more a person accepts their current circumstances, the easier it becomes to move forward towards change.
Another way to work towards rebuilding sexual confidence and desire is to engage in non-sexual activities that promote intimacy.
Taking long walks together, sharing personal thoughts and feelings, or cuddling without any physical contact can help restore emotional closeness between two people. By feeling close again, sex may eventually become more appealing than before.
Engaging in creative pursuits like art or music can enhance the senses and lead to increased arousal later on.
For those struggling with performance anxiety, it may be helpful to focus on communication rather than performance. Talking openly about one's fears and desires with a partner can help alleviate some of the pressure associated with having sex. Experimenting with new positions, techniques, and props (like blindfolds) can also add excitement and variety to the bedroom.
In terms of physical activity, working out regularly can boost testosterone levels and improve overall health, which can translate into better sexual function. Eating a balanced diet rich in protein and omega-3 fatty acids can similarly improve energy and mood, leading to greater desire for sex.
Setting aside time each day for self-pleasure through solo masturbation can help build confidence by reminding someone that they still enjoy physical touch and pleasure.
By following these steps consistently over time, individuals can rebuild sexual confidence and desire after trauma, relational setbacks, or extended inactivity. It takes patience, vulnerability, and effort, but it is possible to regain the spark that was once lost. Remember that intimacy and eroticism are not binary concepts - there are many ways to experience them outside of intercourse alone.
Sexual confidence and desire are valuable parts of human relationships, and when damaged through life events, they can take time to repair.
This article has outlined several practical steps towards rebuilding these important aspects of oneself. By accepting current circumstances, engaging in non-sexual activities that promote intimacy, communicating openly with partners, experimenting safely, staying fit, and taking care of one's body, anyone can reclaim their rightful place as a desirable and confident sexual being.
How can sexual confidence and desire be rebuilt after trauma, relational setbacks, or extended inactivity?
Sexual confidence and desire are complex and nuanced constructs that can be affected by various factors such as past experiences, social norms, cultural beliefs, personal values, physical health, mental wellbeing, relationship dynamics, etc. It is important for individuals who have experienced trauma, setbacks, or prolonged periods of inactivity to understand that there is no one-size-fits-all solution for regaining their sexual confidence and desire.