After experiencing a traumatic event, it can be difficult for couples to maintain physical and emotional closeness.
With patience, understanding, and communication, they can regain their intimacy and strengthen their bond. Here are some strategies that have been shown to help:
1. Grieve together: It's important for both partners to acknowledge and process their grief separately but also to support each other through this painful time. Share your thoughts and feelings, cry together, and offer comfort when needed.
2. Take care of yourself: Self-care is crucial during times of stress. Make sure you're eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and doing activities that make you happy. This will help you feel more energized and emotionally stable so you can reconnect with your partner.
3. Be patient: Healing from loss takes time, and there won't always be a "return to normal" right away. Don't rush the process or expect things to go back to how they were before. Allow yourself and your partner to heal at your own pace.
4. Focus on what you CAN control: Sometimes, after a trauma, it can feel like everything is out of control. But you still have control over small moments in your daily life. Make time for small gestures of affection, such as holding hands, kisses, and cuddling. These little moments can build up into something meaningful over time.
5. Seek professional help: If either partner is struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support for couples dealing with traumatic experiences.
6. Remember what brought you together in the first place: Reminiscing about shared memories and positive experiences can bring you closer again. Talk about what made you fall in love and focus on those aspects of your relationship.
7. Practice selflessness: Acts of kindness towards each other can help strengthen your bond. Do thoughtful things for your partner, like cooking their favorite meal, taking them on a date, or just spending quality time together. Give without expecting anything in return.
8. Be open to new experiences: After a loss, it may seem difficult to find joy in life. But try to do things that make you both happy, whether it's traveling, exploring a new hobby, or trying a new restaurant. This can help you reconnect emotionally and physically.
9. Be patient but persistent: Don't give up if intimacy doesn't come back right away. It will take time, effort, and patience from both partners to regain physical and emotional closeness.
10. Focus on the present moment: Try not to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Stay focused on the present moment and enjoy being with your partner. Take things slowly and don't push yourself too hard too soon.
By following these strategies, couples can sustain intimacy after a trauma and build a stronger relationship than before. Remember that healing is a process, and it won't always be easy, but with patience and support, you can get through this difficult time.
How do couples sustain intimacy after traumatic experiences such as miscarriage or loss?
While research on this topic is limited, existing studies have shown that couples who have experienced a miscarriage or other type of pregnancy loss may struggle with maintaining their usual level of intimacy for some time following the event. This can be due to a range of factors, including feelings of guilt, grief, and anxiety related to the loss, changes in hormone levels, and shifts in roles and responsibilities within the relationship.