Routines are established habits that people tend to follow without thinking too much about them.
They may be regular morning or evening activities such as eating breakfast at the same time each day or watching television after work. People often develop routines because it's easier than having to think through every decision from scratch each time they need to perform an activity.
These routines can become ingrained in their lives and form patterns of behavior that are difficult to break away from. This is especially true when it comes to sex. Couples who have been together for a long time may find themselves falling into a routine where everything is done the same way every time they have sex. This can lead to reduced novelty and ultimately lower levels of satisfaction.
One reason why this happens is that our brains love familiarity. We feel comfortable and safe when things are predictable. When we do something regularly, our brain becomes used to it and stops paying attention as much. This means we don't get the same level of pleasure from it anymore. It also means we stop learning new things about our partner because we already know what they like or dislike.
Another issue is that routines can lead to a lack of spontaneity and creativity. When you always do the same thing during sex, there's less room for exploration and experimentation. You might end up feeling bored and unfulfilled even though your partner still finds you attractive.
Breaking out of a sexual routine can be challenging. If you've been doing the same thing for years, trying something new can feel awkward and uncomfortable. But if you want to keep the spark alive in your relationship, it's essential to try new things periodically.
You could start by talking openly with your partner about what turns them on and what they would like to try. Then, make a plan to mix things up and try different activities, positions, or toys. Even small changes, such as switching up your location or timing, can help bring back some excitement.
Routines can reduce novelty and negatively affect long-term sexual satisfaction. To break out of this pattern, couples need to communicate openly and try new things together. By doing so, they can maintain a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship that continues to grow over time.
How do routines reduce novelty and affect long-term sexual satisfaction?
A recent study by Kimmel et al. (2018) investigated how routine sex reduces sexual stimulation and decreases novelty seeking over time. They hypothesized that engaging in frequent routine sex would increase a sense of familiarity with one's partner, leading to less arousal during future encounters due to reduced novelty-seeking behavior.