Before discussing how to establish trust before sexual intimacy, it is important to define what is meant by 'trust' in this context. Trust refers to the sense that someone will not violate your boundaries, betray you, cheat on you, deceive you, or cause harm to you physically or psychologically. It involves emotional safety, honesty, reliability, accountability, mutual respect, loyalty, dependability, and commitment. Without trust, there can be no healthy sexual relationship.
Trust is not something that happens automatically or quickly. It takes time, communication, effort, patience, vulnerability, and risk-taking to build trust in any relationship, including sexual ones. When it comes to establishing trust for sexual intimacy specifically, here are five strategies that may help.
1. Set clear boundaries and communicate them openly. This means being honest about your physical and emotional limits, needs, desires, expectations, preferences, and fears.
Setting a limit like "No kissing during sex" or "Only touch me where I am comfortable." If your partner responds negatively, they may not be ready for a more intense level of intimacy. Respect their boundaries as well.
2. Be consistent with your actions. Follow through on promises, keep agreements, do what you say you will do, and don't make empty promises or false claims. Show that you care about keeping your word.
If you say you won't contact them after 10 pm, stick to that. Don't change plans suddenly without explanation.
3. Practice self-care and take responsibility for yourself. Have hobbies, interests, friends, family, work, and passions outside the relationship. Take responsibility for your own happiness, fulfillment, and contentment. Don't rely on your partner to provide everything for you. Self-sufficiency builds confidence, independence, and respect from others.
4. Build emotional connection beyond sex. Spend quality time together talking, laughing, exploring, experiencing new things, helping each other, learning from each other, being vulnerable, showing appreciation, sharing hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, and worries. Develop trust by listening actively, offering support, validating feelings, and honoring one another's perspectives.
5. Engage in non-sexual physical closeness. Touch, cuddle, hold hands, stroke hair, rub shoulders, gaze into each other's eyes, smile, laugh, kiss lightly, massage, brush fingertips, and enjoy sensory pleasures. These can be ways of establishing intimacy without leading directly to sexual arousal. Share a bath or shower, but not naked. Get used to being physically close before making love.
Remember that trust takes time to build, so don't rush into anything until you feel comfortable and safe. Sex is best when it is consensual and mutually satisfying, and trust is key to that. Communicate clearly, set boundaries, practice self-care, spend quality time together, and engage in non-sexual closeness to help build the foundation of trust needed for healthy sexual relationships.
How do you establish trust before sexual intimacy?
The process of establishing trust before engaging in sexual intimacy is crucial for developing a healthy and satisfying relationship with another individual. The establishment of this trust involves several factors that help foster mutual respect, honesty, understanding, vulnerability, and affection between two individuals. One such factor includes communication, which helps create an open and transparent environment where both parties can share their thoughts, feelings, and expectations regarding sex.