When we are in a situation that threatens our safety, our bodies go into survival mode. We may feel fear, anxiety, or stress, which can lead to physiological responses such as rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, and muscle tension. In these situations, our brains are focused on preserving life rather than thinking about things like emotions or relationships. This "fight or flight" response is an evolutionary trait that helped early humans survive dangerous situations.
This response can also affect our relationships after the danger has subsided. If we were in a relationship before the threat occurred, our partner might have been able to support us during the crisis. But once the danger is gone, we may start to question whether they will still be there for us when it matters most. Our feelings of dependency on them may become more intense and we may begin to rely on them emotionally, financially, or even sexually.
This can create challenges in the relationship. It's important to recognize that feeling dependent on someone is normal, but if you find yourself relying on them too much, it may be time to take steps towards independence. It's essential to work on communication with your partner and let them know what you need from them, both practically and emotionally. It's also important to set boundaries around what you expect from them so that they don't become overwhelmed by the responsibility.
If you've experienced trauma or abuse in the past, you may be particularly vulnerable to dependency issues. Trauma can make it difficult to trust others and form healthy relationships. You may feel like you need someone to keep you safe at all times, which can lead to codependency or other unhealthy dynamics. If you struggle with this, consider seeking professional help to heal from your trauma and learn how to build healthier relationships.
Remember that dependency doesn't always mean weakness. It's natural to depend on others sometimes, especially during difficult times. The key is finding a balance between dependence and autonomy, and recognizing that you are responsible for your own happiness and well-being.
How does dependency formed under duress evolve once danger subsides, and what relational challenges emerge?
Once danger subsides, individuals may experience significant changes in their relationships as they adjust to the absence of perceived threats. Depending on the circumstances of the trauma, some individuals may feel more independent and autonomous while others may continue to rely heavily on caregivers for support and validation. Additionally, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can affect interpersonal dynamics, leading to increased conflict and difficulty regulating emotions.