The success of a marriage is often influenced by external factors such as social norms, cultural expectations, financial status, parental pressures, religious beliefs, etc.
One of the most important pillars of a strong and stable marriage is communication. Military couples face many unique challenges that can put stress on their relationship, including frequent relocation, long deployments, family separation, trauma, and high levels of stress and anxiety. In order to maintain trust, loyalty, and emotional closeness under these conditions, military spouses need to learn how to communicate effectively with each other even when they are apart. Here are some ways they can do this:
1. Set boundaries: It's essential for military couples to set clear boundaries around communication, both verbally and nonverbally. This means establishing ground rules for how frequently they will check in with each other, what topics they will discuss, and how they will handle disagreements or conflicts.
Setting aside time every day for a video chat or phone call can help them stay connected despite being physically separated. Establishing a code word or phrase can signal the importance of an urgent message if something comes up during deployment.
2. Practice active listening: Active listening involves fully engaging with your partner and seeking to understand their perspective rather than just responding. This requires paying attention to verbal cues like tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions, asking clarifying questions, and restating what was said to ensure understanding. Listening attentively also shows respect, empathy, and support, which can build trust and intimacy.
3. Use technology wisely: Technology can be a powerful tool for keeping in touch, but it's important not to rely too heavily on text messages or social media as a substitute for face-to-face interaction. Military couples should use video calls, phone calls, and letters to connect more personally, sharing details about daily life, feelings, thoughts, and hopes. They can also create special rituals or traditions that help them feel closer together, such as reading bedtime stories over the phone or watching movies together online.
4. Seek support from others: Military families often form close bonds with fellow service members and their spouses, who understand the unique challenges they face. Connecting with these individuals can provide emotional support, advice, and perspective when needed. Spouses can also seek out counseling services or therapy to work through any issues that arise.
5. Make time for fun and relaxation: A healthy relationship is built on shared interests and activities, so military couples should make sure to schedule regular date nights and quality time together even when apart. This might involve planning weekend getaways, playing games, cooking meals, or simply taking walks around base. These moments of leisure and connection can help rekindle the spark and strengthen the bond.
By following these guidelines, military couples can cultivate deep levels of trust, loyalty, and emotional closeness despite the challenges of deployment and separation.
Building a strong marriage takes time, patience, and effort, and requires ongoing communication, compromise, and flexibility. With proper preparation and support, though, these couples can thrive in even the most difficult circumstances.
How do military couples cultivate trust, loyalty, and emotional closeness under conditions of extreme uncertainty?
According to Dr. Robert Fogarty (2019), "military couples face unique challenges that are not commonly experienced by civilians" (p. 3). He mentions that when one partner is deployed abroad for an extended period of time, it can be difficult for both partners to maintain a strong sense of connection and intimacy with each other.