The primary challenge that military couples face is reestablishing connection after separation due to deployment or deployment-related stressors such as combat exposure, injury, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or substance abuse. It's normal to experience some emotional distancing during this time; however, without appropriate assistance and open communication, these challenges might worsen into relationship troubles or permanent breakups. When a partner goes through trauma, it may have an impact on their capacity for closeness, and they can be more distant physically or emotionally. This article will discuss how partners maintain hope and commitment when trauma temporarily disrupts the soldier's capacity for intimacy.
1. Recognize that trauma has happened
Recognizing that trauma has occurred is one crucial stage in recovering from it. Partners should acknowledge that traumatic experiences are often unavoidable and can significantly affect their loved ones. When trauma occurs, there are numerous ways that people respond to it, but no response is inherently wrong. Accepting that trauma has occurred may assist partners in recognizing its effects and addressing them appropriately.
Acknowledging a partner who feels fearful, guilty, or angry is essential. By doing so, partners can help the survivor feel heard, supported, and understood.
2. Seek professional help if required
If you or your spouse has been diagnosed with PTSD, seek expert support immediately. The symptoms of PTSD are varied and include flashbacks, anxiety, anger issues, despair, nightmares, insomnia, and avoidance behavior. Treatments such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and medication management can aid in treating PTSD. Medications like antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, or tranquilizers can also improve symptoms like sleep disturbances and agitation.
Psychotherapy sessions focused on trauma-related problems are accessible through Veterans Affairs (VA) clinics across the nation. Individual and group therapies may be beneficial when dealing with the aftereffects of trauma and rebuilding trust.
3. Be patient with yourselves
Partners must recognize that healing is not always straightforward, nor does it occur overnight. It will require time and effort, but it's worthwhile. The healing process needs patience, understanding, and empathy from both parties involved. Partners should acknowledge their partner's need for space during this period and accept that their partner may behave differently than usual. This stage requires openness to talking about feelings without judgment and being nonjudgmental toward one another when discussing painful topics related to trauma.
4. Have a plan in place before deployment
Prioritizing healthy communication skills before deployments or missions could benefit relationships long term. Couples can schedule regular check-ins throughout the year to stay connected even if they aren't together physically. Having an established routine can assist couples in maintaining hope and commitment even when apart.
Partners might write letters regularly, share pictures or videos online, send care packages, or make sure that they have access to each other daily via phone or video chat. These routines foster connection even when partners are miles apart, helping them feel less alone in difficult situations.
5. Keep up healthy habits
Maintaining physical fitness and mental wellbeing is essential for surviving military life's challenges, such as deployments or combat exposure. Regular exercise promotes better sleep quality, reduces anxiety levels, decreases stress hormones like cortisol, improves self-esteem, and strengthens immunity against disease. Physical activity has been shown to enhance mood regulation and decrease symptoms of depression and PTSD.
Eating nutritious meals can boost energy levels while preventing chronic illnesses such as heart disease or diabetes. Mental exercises like meditation or yoga increase mindfulness, reduce tension levels, and improve cognitive function. When partners take care of themselves, it shows their partner how much they care about each other's well-being too.
6. Consider counseling services
Counseling can help partners work through any issues arising from trauma by providing a safe place for open communication without judgment. It may also give them tools to manage conflict constructively, build trust, and reestablish intimacy after deployment or separation due to combat exposure. Counselors who specialize in working with veterans and their families will be familiar with the unique experiences related to serving in the armed forces. The VA offers free therapy sessions at clinics across the nation that provide support groups, individual counseling, marital/family therapies, couples' retreats, etc. These services are confidential, so no one needs to worry about stigma associated with seeking treatment.
7. Remember why you fell in love
Remembering why they first fell in love is an effective way to keep hope and commitment alive during challenging times. Partners should reflect on what initially attracted them to each other, remembering positive memories and focusing on good qualities instead of dwelling on negative ones. This practice helps create positivity in relationships while acknowledging past mistakes without dwelling on them.
Celebrating milestones together strengthens emotional bonds as well as physical connections. By making time for romantic moments throughout the day - even if only via text message - couples can stay connected emotionally even when apart physically.
8. Practice gratitude daily
Gratitude has been shown to enhance happiness levels while decreasing stress hormones like cortisol. In addition, expressing thanks builds stronger relationships by emphasizing what we have rather than what we lack. Couples might take turns listing three things they appreciate every night before bedtime or send notes of
How do partners maintain hope and commitment when trauma temporarily disrupts the soldier's capacity for intimacy?
The most effective strategy is to focus on the shared vision of the future and the values that underpin it. It would help to discuss how the traumatic experience has impacted their relationship and what they can do to work through it together. This will create a sense of shared responsibility and mutual accountability, which helps build trust and connection.