BDSM is an acronym for Bondage, Discipline/Dominance, Submission/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. This practice involves consensual non-harmful activities like role play, restraint, dominance, submission, pain, or humiliation. People who participate in these activities are known as BDSM practitioners or kinksters. They may also be called switches or dominants/submissives. According to recent studies, BDSM practitioners report higher levels of communication and aftercare than average couples. Here's how.
First, BDSM practitioners have a safe word that allows them to stop any activity if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe. The safe word is usually "red" or "yellow". If one partner says the safe word, the other stops immediately. BDSM practitioners communicate about their limits before engaging in any activity. For example, one person might say, "I want you to whip me with this whip but I do not want marks." This allows both partners to set clear boundaries.
Second, BDSM practitioners often engage in aftercare. Aftercare refers to the time after sex when they check in emotionally and physically. During aftercare, BDSM practitioners talk about their experience, cuddle, massage each other, or eat ice cream. They use aftercare to debrief, process emotions, and restore intimacy. This can take anywhere from 15 minutes to several hours. Non-BDSM practitioners rarely engage in aftercare because it feels strange. But without aftercare, BDSM practitioners risk becoming numb or distant from their partner.
Third, BDSM practitioners use verbal instructions during playtime. They tell each other what they want to do, such as "take off my clothes," "lay down on the bed," or "spank me hard." This ensures everyone knows exactly what is happening at all times. In contrast, non-BDSM practitioners are more likely to rely on body language and subtle cues. This can lead to miscommunication or confusion. By using explicit communication, BDSM practitioners avoid misunderstandings.
Fourth, BDSM practitioners prioritize consent. Before every activity, they ask for permission. Practitioners may say, "Do you want me to kiss your neck?" "Can I slap you gently with this paddle?" or "Would you like me to tie you up now?" Asking for permission shows respect and care. It also makes sure both partners feel comfortable and safe.
Finally, BDSM practitioners value their relationship outside of sex. Unlike typical couples who only have sex once a week or less, BDSM practitioners may have frequent playtimes that involve bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, or masochism. These activities increase intimacy, trust, and closeness. As a result, BDSM practitioners often report higher levels of connection than average couples.
In conclusion, BDSM practitioners engage in many practices that promote communication and aftercare. By discussing limits, giving clear commands, asking for consent, and valuing their relationship, BDSM practitioners build stronger relationships. Non-practitioners should learn from these strategies to improve their own relationships.