The psychological impact of combat can have significant effects on an individual's ability to maintain healthy relationships. Service members may experience intense feelings of fear, anxiety, and stress while under fire, which can cause them to become hypervigilant and on edge even in non-threatening situations. This hypervigilance can make it difficult to relax enough to engage in intimate behaviors such as cuddling, kissing, and touching.
Exposure to violence can lead to desensitization, making it harder for service members to feel emotionally connected to their partners.
Many veterans also experience heightened emotional awareness due to trauma, making them more attuned to their partner's needs but also increasing their need for safety and control. These competing impulses can create challenges when attempting to reconcile protective instincts developed in combat with the emotional openness needed for fulfilling intimacy.
One way that service members can address this challenge is through communication with their partners. It is important for both parties to be honest about their needs and expectations regarding physical and emotional intimacy. Open dialogue allows for mutual understanding and negotiation of boundaries, helping to create a safe environment where trust and vulnerability can flourish. Service members can also seek professional help from mental health professionals who are trained in treating PTSD or other related disorders. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) are two evidence-based treatments that have been shown to be effective in reducing symptoms associated with combat trauma.
Another approach involves self-care practices that promote relaxation and stress reduction. Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, yoga, or mindfulness exercises can help service members develop greater control over their physiological responses to stress. Exercise, hobbies, and social activities can provide additional outlets for releasing tension and building resilience.
Practicing gratitude and self-compassion can counteract feelings of guilt and shame often associated with struggling with intimacy after combat. By acknowledging and accepting their experiences while seeking support and self-care tools, service members can work towards developing more satisfying and fulfilling relationships.
How do service members reconcile protective instincts developed in combat with the emotional openness needed for fulfilling intimacy?
The ability to engage in emotionally close relationships requires trust, vulnerability, and an open heart, but these qualities are often at odds with the survivalist mentality that soldiers develop during training and deployment in war zones. Service members face challenges when they return home from battle because they may feel distant, isolated, hypervigilant, depressed, anxious, or even aggressive due to their experiences on the front lines.