What Cognitive and Emotional Effects Arise When Anticipated Sexual or Recreational Pleasure Is Not Realized
When people anticipate that they will have an enjoyable experience such as satisfying sex or leisure activities, their brains undergo certain physiological changes that prepare them for what comes next.
If those expectations are not met, the resulting emotions can be both cognitive and emotional. In this paper, I will explore how the brain reacts to disappointment and explain some potential long-term consequences.
Pleasure Expectations
The human mind is wired to seek out pleasurable experiences because doing so leads to survival benefits. As hunter-gatherers, humans who were able to find food and shelter quickly had higher chances of passing on their genes than those who struggled to do so. This instinct remains part of our psyche today, even though it no longer dictates whether we live or die. We still crave pleasure and avoid pain in many situations. That desire manifests itself in numerous ways, including through anticipation. When someone expects something good to happen, their body begins a process called anticipatory pleasure, which includes releasing dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with rewarding feelings. This reaction occurs even before the expected event takes place.
Anticipation vs. Reality
While anticipating something, the brain imagines scenarios involving positive outcomes based on past experiences or desires. If reality does not match these images, the result is often disappointment. This gap between expectation and reality triggers a series of events.
When someone finds out they did not get into a coveted school program or lose a close game, their brain releases less dopamine. On top of that, their amygdala - an almond-shaped structure responsible for processing fear - activates and causes them to feel anxious. The prefrontal cortex, which regulates emotions and decision making, also becomes more active as people try to make sense of what happened and determine how to move forward.
Cognitive Consequences
Such as after a loss or breakup, this cognitive dissonance can lead to self-blame or other negative thoughts about oneself. These patterns may then reinforce themselves over time due to the way the mind works. Researchers have shown that one's memory of a negative experience can become stronger than a positive one due to a process called "reconsolidation," where the brain strengthens memories during sleep in order to avoid repeating mistakes. As such, if someone blames themselves for not getting enough sexual gratification or having fun at an activity, those beliefs can grow stronger over time.
Emotional Effects
The emotional effects of dashed expectations are just as powerful. When the brain is flooded with dopamine and suddenly has none left, it creates feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, and depression. These responses can last longer than expected because the body reacts by increasing its level of cortisol, a hormone related to stress. This spike leads to elevated blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing, causing physical symptoms like headaches, nausea, and muscle tension.
Chronic exposure to these reactions can lead to increased susceptibility to illnesses like hypertension and diabetes.
Implications for Future Experiences
If someone does not learn from their disappointment, they might continue making decisions based on unrealistic expectations, leading to further bad experiences.
They could spend all their money on lottery tickets even though winning is unlikely. Alternatively, they might try more risky activities to satisfy their urge for excitement, which could endanger them physically or financially. By learning from past mistakes and recognizing that some pleasures cannot be guaranteed, people may avoid future disappointments.
What cognitive and emotional effects arise when anticipated sexual or recreational pleasure is not realized?
When anticipating sexual or recreational pleasure that turns out to be unrealized, individuals may experience disappointment, frustration, embarrassment, shame, and even anger. The perceived failure to achieve an enjoyable experience can lead to negative self-talk and self-doubt, which can further worsen mood and wellbeing. Additionally, it may trigger feelings of anxiety, depression, isolation, loneliness, and guilt.