What is sexual trauma?
Sexual trauma can be defined as any experience of unwanted sexual contact that leaves an individual feeling powerless, violated, frightened, ashamed, helpless, confused, depressed, or angry. It includes a wide range of experiences such as sexual assault, rape, childhood abuse, incest, domestic violence, stalking, cybersexual exploitation, exhibitionism, or voyeurism. These experiences often have long-lasting effects on the survivors' mental health and well-being.
How does sexual trauma impact sexual desire?
Survivors of sexual trauma may find it difficult to reconcile their sexual desires with emotional safety and trust because they have been conditioned to associate sex with fear, shame, and danger. They may feel guilty for wanting sex at all, especially if they perceive themselves as damaged or broken. They may also feel that no one will ever love them again due to the traumatic experiences they have endured. This can lead to difficulty in initiating and maintaining intimate relationships, as well as difficulty experiencing pleasure during sexual encounters.
Reconciling sexual desire and emotional safety
To reconcile sexual desire and emotional safety, survivors must first work through their trauma and learn how to trust again. This process typically involves therapy, support groups, self-care practices, and building a sense of empowerment. Once this foundation has been established, survivors can begin to explore their sexuality in a safe and consensual way. Some ways to do this include:
1. Practicing self-compassion - Survivors should practice self-care by engaging in activities that make them feel good about themselves and their bodies. This could include yoga, meditation, massage, exercise, or art.
2. Communication - Survivors should communicate openly and honestly with partners about their boundaries and needs. They should be clear about what they are and are not comfortable with, and establish explicit consent before any physical contact occurs.
3. Seeking professional help - Therapists who specialize in trauma recovery can provide valuable guidance and support for survivors exploring their sexuality.
4. Finding support - Joining online communities or support groups for survivors of sexual trauma can be helpful in finding others who understand and validate their experience.
5. Experimentation - As survivors gain confidence in their ability to set boundaries and say no when necessary, they may find it easier to experiment sexually with partners they trust.
How do survivors of sexual trauma reconcile sexual desire with emotional safety and trust?
Survivors of sexual trauma often experience difficulty in forming healthy relationships due to their past experiences. This can make it challenging for them to navigate intimacy and sexuality. Reconciling sexual desire with emotional safety and trust involves understanding one's needs and boundaries, as well as communicating them effectively with partners. Survivors may need time to build up their self-esteem and learn to trust themselves and others again.