Traumatic experiences can have lasting effects on mental health and wellbeing, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression. PTSD is characterized by symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, and emotional numbness that affect one's ability to function in daily life. Depression is characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. Both conditions may lead to avoidance behaviors, which are coping mechanisms to reduce anxiety but can also prevent individuals from engaging in meaningful relationships and activities. Trauma-affected veterans who withdraw from their partners or become isolated in their homes may find it difficult to seek help for these problems due to stigma or shame associated with seeking professional assistance.
Partner support can play an important role in helping trauma-affected veterans overcome barriers to treatment and improve overall quality of life. Partners should provide support without reinforcing patterns of avoidance or withdrawal by focusing on communication, empathy, validation, and self-care.
Communication: Effective communication requires active listening, nonjudgmental responses, and clear expression of needs and desires. Partners should ask open-ended questions about their loved one's thoughts and feelings rather than assuming they know what they need.
"How was your day?" instead of "You seem stressed today." Validating statements such as "I understand how you feel" or "That must have been scary/difficult" can make the veteran feel seen and heard. Encouraging words like "I believe in you," or "We'll get through this together" can promote a sense of trust and hope. When expressing personal needs, partners should use specific language ("I would appreciate if you could take out the trash") rather than generalizations ("Can we talk?"). By practicing effective communication skills, partners can foster emotional intimacy and mutual understanding, which can enhance resilience in the face of trauma-related stressors.
Empathy: Empathy involves acknowledging and validating the other person's experience while also recognizing that everyone has different perspectives and experiences. Traumatic events often leave lasting impressions that may impact mental health and interpersonal relationships.
It is important for partners not to jump to conclusions about why their loved one is struggling or how they should respond.
Saying "It's all in your head" or "Just suck it up" may be dismissive and harmful. Instead, partners should try to put themselves in the veteran's shoes by imagining what it would be like to experience their struggles. This can help reduce misunderstandings and create an environment where both partners feel safe enough to share their thoughts and feelings openly.
Validation: Validation means accepting someone else's experiences without judgment or expectations. Partners should acknowledge that their loved one's trauma history and its effects on them are real and understandable. They should avoid minimizing their partner's pain ("You're overreacting") or trying to fix their problems ("Here's what you need to do."). Instead, they should offer nonjudgmental validation such as "I see you're struggling," or "It makes sense that this would affect you." By validating their partner's experiences, partners can build trust and create a supportive environment where they feel heard and understood.
Self-care: Self-care involves taking care of one's physical, emotional, and social needs to maintain overall wellbeing. This includes setting boundaries, prioritizing self-compassion, engaging in hobbies or activities outside of the relationship, and seeking professional assistance when needed. When partners practice self-care, they can show their loved ones that they value their own mental health and are committed to providing support for the long term. By recognizing their own limitations and seeking help when needed, partners can model healthy coping mechanisms and promote resilience within the family system.
Partner support is crucial for trauma-affected veterans who may struggle with PTSD or depression symptoms. Providing effective communication, empathy, validation, and self-care can prevent reinforcing patterns of avoidance or withdrawal and encourage treatment seeking. Trauma-affected veterans who receive consistent and validating support from their partners may improve their quality of life and overcome barriers to treatment. Partners can also benefit from practicing these skills by promoting greater intimacy, mutual understanding, and shared resilience.
How do partners provide support without reinforcing patterns of avoidance or withdrawal in trauma-affected veterans?
Traumatized veterans often struggle with emotional difficulties such as fear, anxiety, depression, social isolation, and shame due to their experiences during deployment. These issues may result in interpersonal relationship challenges for both the veteran and their partner. One way that partners can offer support is by being empathetic and nonjudgmental when the veteran shares their experiences and feelings.