The term "fantasy" refers to any imagined situation, event, person, place, activity, or object that someone desires for some reason. In general, most people experience fantasies daily without realizing it. They can vary from harmless daydreaming about winning the lottery to more significant scenarios involving romance, love, violence, sex, pain, power, and control. Some fantasies may clash with one's ethics, morals, religion, belief system, or personal boundaries because they involve activities that are forbidden, taboo, immoral, illegal, or harmful. When this happens, reconciling these conflicting thoughts can be challenging but possible. Reasons why people have fantasies
People have fantasies for various reasons, such as boredom, stress relief, escapism, sexual arousal, curiosity, creativity, self-discovery, exploration, or entertainment. Research shows that individuals who live in environments where their needs are not met often turn to fantasies to feel fulfilled. It is also common for those who struggle to connect with others physically or emotionally to indulge in them. How to deal with conflicting fantasies
There are several ways to handle conflicting fantasies. The first step is to identify the issue by analyzing what the thought means to you. For example, does it represent an unmet need? Are you curious about something specific? Is there a particular trigger associated with it? Once identified, try to understand your feelings towards it, whether guilt, shame, excitement, fear, anxiety, pleasure, etc., and consider the consequences of acting on it. If you decide to explore your fantasy further, do so consensually, safely, and responsibly. Consider alternative activities that meet your emotional needs without compromising your integrity or values. Remember that the most important thing is to remain true to yourself. Overcoming negative reactions
If confronted with negativity from friends, family, religion, or society, remember that everyone has unique perspectives. Do not let anyone make you feel bad about having certain thoughts. Acknowledge and respect their opinions while standing firmly behind yours. Seek support if necessary from someone nonjudgmental like a therapist or counselor. Learn how to manage anxiety, stress, or depression symptoms caused by these thoughts, such as through mindfulness meditation, yoga, journaling, or therapy. Finally, remind yourself that reconciling these desires takes time and effort, but it's worth the investment for mental well-being.