The term "reclaiming" implies that something was taken away, lost, or stolen from the person. It also suggests that there are steps to take to get it back. If someone experiences a traumatic event related to their sexuality, they may feel like their sense of self has been compromised or diminished. This could be because of shame, guilt, fear, embarrassment, or any number of emotions that come up when recalling the experience. They may see themselves as damaged goods, and believe that their sexual desires have changed forever.
This is far from the truth. Reclaiming one's identity through reclaiming erotic sensation involves acknowledging these feelings and taking action to move past them. The process requires mindfulness, patience, and an open mind.
Step 1: Reflect on the experience
In order to begin reclaiming your identity, you need to acknowledge what happened and reflect on how it affected you. Think about how you felt before and after the trauma, and what thoughts came up for you. Consider why it might have felt traumatic in the first place.
Did you feel violated or disrespected? Were you made to do things that were against your will? Was the situation unsafe? These questions can help you understand where your triggers lie and how they affect you now. Journaling can be helpful in this step, as it allows you to process your thoughts privately and without judgment. Remember, no one but you should be reading this journal.
Step 2: Explore your boundaries
After you've reflected on the experience, start exploring your boundaries. What are your limits and preferences around sex? Are there certain activities that make you uncomfortable or trigger negative memories? Be honest with yourself here. It's okay if some things don't turn you on anymore, or if you're not interested in doing something because of trauma. Don't pressure yourself into trying anything just because someone else enjoys it - everyone's different! This step is all about knowing thyself and being true to who you are today. Try masturbating alone or with a partner to see what feels good and what doesn't. You may even want to experiment with different types of pornography to get a better understanding of your desires.
Step 3: Reconnect with your body
Your physical senses are important too! Your body holds memories and emotions that inform your sexuality. Spend time with yourself in non-sexual ways, such as taking a bath or shower, meditating, or stretching. Notice how your body feels and what sensations arise. This can help you reconnect with your body and its needs. When you feel ready, try engaging in erotic play with a partner. Start slow and communicate openly to ensure you're both comfortable with each other. Take breaks when needed, and don't force any activity that makes you uncomfortable. Remember that consent is key in any sexual encounter.
Step 4: Seek support
No one should have to go through this process alone. If you need support from others, seek out professional counseling or join a support group for survivors of sexual assault. They will be able to offer guidance, resources, and a safe space to express yourself. Be patient with yourself during this time; reclaiming your identity takes time and effort. With practice and dedication, you can start to feel confident in your body again and enjoy the pleasures of intimacy. Reclaiming your erotic sensation can be an empowering journey towards healing and self-discovery.
How does reclaiming erotic sensation redefine one's identity after trauma?
Reclaiming erotic sensation can be an important part of a journey towards healing from trauma and may help individuals to redefine their identities by reconnecting with their bodies and sexuality. The process may involve challenging negative beliefs about sex and intimacy that were formed as a result of the traumatic experience, exploring new forms of pleasure and vulnerability, and building trust and safety within oneself and with others.