Survivors of sexual trauma may experience a wide range of emotional and physical responses after the event. These can include fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, anger, self-blame, insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks, hypervigilance, isolation, avoidance, withdrawal, numbness, difficulty trusting others, low self-esteem, suicidality, PTSD symptoms, and dissociation. Survivors may also have difficulties with their sexual functioning, including decreased sexual desire and pleasure, erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness, pain during intercourse, anorgasmia, delayed orgasm, and negative body image. Sexual trauma can lead to feelings of being "ruined" and damaged, which can make it difficult for survivors to engage in sex again. The rebuilding of sexuality and intimacy post-trauma requires time, patience, support, and guidance from professionals trained in trauma treatment and sex therapy.
Rebuilding sexual desire
Rebuilding sexual desire is often the first step towards healing after sexual trauma. It involves taking small steps towards gradually increasing arousal and exploring different forms of touch and pleasure. One approach that can be helpful is masturbation. Masturbation allows survivors to explore their bodies without pressure or judgment, and to identify what feels pleasurable. Another approach is to experiment with sensory experiences such as scents, music, and visual stimulation. Survivors may find pleasure in activities outside of the bedroom, such as cooking, massages, baths, hiking, art, and gardening. It's important for partners to communicate openly about boundaries, safety, and comfort levels.
Exploring pleasure
Exploration of pleasure can involve a wide range of activities, both alone and with a partner. Some survivors may enjoy slow, gentle touches while others prefer faster, more intense stimulation. Communicating desires and preferences with a partner can help increase trust and intimacy. Practicing mindfulness and self-acceptance can also enhance pleasure by reducing anxiety and increasing awareness of bodily sensations. Couples therapy or counseling can provide a safe space to discuss past traumas and work through issues related to sexuality. Sex therapists can teach skills such as breathwork, relaxation techniques, and mindful touch.
Developing intimacy
Intimacy can take many forms beyond physical touch, including emotional connection, empathy, vulnerability, trust, and mutual support. Rebuilding intimacy after trauma requires patience, communication, and collaboration. Survivors may feel more comfortable starting with non-sexual acts of affection, such as cuddling, holding hands, or sharing feelings. Building trust gradually over time can help create a safe environment for intimate connections. Mindfulness exercises such as meditation, yoga, and journaling can promote emotional regulation and self-awareness. Survivors can seek guidance from professionals trained in trauma-informed care who understand the unique needs of survivors. With time and effort, rebuilding sexual desire, pleasure, and intimacy post-trauma is possible for all survivors.
How do survivors of sexual trauma rebuild sexual desire, pleasure, and intimacy post-trauma?
Sexual trauma is a form of sexual violence that can affect survivors' sense of safety, trust, control, power, autonomy, and overall wellbeing. It can lead to a disruption in their sexual functioning as they struggle with painful memories, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, guilt, shame, self-blame, fear, and depression.