Trauma is an experience that causes psychological, emotional, physical, or spiritual harm to someone. It can be a single event or prolonged distress, resulting in feelings of helplessness, fear, shame, guilt, isolation, vulnerability, numbness, or grief. Traumatic experiences include physical abuse, sexual abuse, witnessing violence, natural disasters, accidents, war, life-threatening medical situations, etc. Psychologists define trauma exposure as direct or indirect involvement in trauma. Direct exposure refers to experiencing a traumatic event directly; indirect exposure involves learning about it through another person's description or observation.
Experiencing trauma can impact sexual empathy, responsiveness, and relational investment. Empathy involves understanding and sharing the partner's sexual desires and needs. Responsiveness means being open to respond sexually to the partner's requests. Relational investment means feeling close to the partner and valuing the relationship highly.
Sexual empathy
Trauma can lead to decreased sexual empathy due to several factors. Firstly, people with trauma history may find it challenging to connect with their partners' sexual desires because they have difficulty regulating their emotions. They might feel anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, or shut down during sex, making it difficult to focus on what their partner wants. Secondly, trauma survivors often experience dissociation - a detachment from reality that makes them lose touch with themselves and others. This can make it hard for them to see their partner's perspective or understand their needs. Thirdly, trauma survivors often struggle with trust issues, which may affect their ability to be vulnerable and share intimate details of their lives.
Trauma can cause physical symptoms such as pain, numbness, or muscle tension that interfere with sexual arousal. Survivors may also experience flashbacks or panic attacks during sex, leading to fear and avoidance. All these factors can affect sexual communication and empathy in couples.
Sexual responsiveness
Traumatic experiences can impact sexual responsiveness by reducing interest in sex, decreasing arousal, and increasing anxiety. People who have experienced trauma may feel insecure about their bodies, feel shame or guilt about past sexual experiences, or worry about rejection. They may also have difficulties regulating their body's response to pleasure, making it harder to orgasm or enjoy sex.
Trauma can lead to hypervigilance (extreme alertness) and fight-or-flight responses, which can interfere with sexual excitement. Trauma survivors might become hyperaware of potential threats in the environment, making it challenging to relax and let go during sex. They may also have difficulty achieving an optimal state of sexual arousal due to emotional distress. These factors can reduce their overall sexual satisfaction and relational investment.
Relational investment
Experiencing trauma can affect relational investment by diminishing feelings of closeness, commitment, trust, and security. People who have suffered from trauma may have trouble feeling safe enough to share intimate details of their lives, leading to distance between partners. Traumatic events can also increase conflict, frustration, and negative emotions that damage relationships.
Survivors may be more prone to anger outbursts, withdrawal, or infidelity, all contributing to a lack of relational investment.
People who receive supportive therapy for trauma often report improved sexual functioning, empathy, responsiveness, and relationship quality. This shows that addressing trauma symptoms can positively impact these areas of life. Therapists use evidence-based treatments such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, eye movement desensitization, and reprocessing, or EMDR, to help clients process past trauma and improve their well-being.
How does trauma exposure influence sexual empathy, responsiveness, and relational investment in couples?
There is research evidence that suggests that individuals who have experienced traumatic events may display difficulties with their sexual life (e. g. , low desire, dysfunctional behaviors) and with intimate relationships (e. g. , lower relationship satisfaction). Traumatic experiences can lead to changes in brain structure and functioning which affects how an individual perceives and responds to situations involving social interactions, including those with romantic partners.