The word "trauma" refers to a psychological response to a deeply distressing experience that causes significant mental anguish and emotional suffering. Traumatic experiences are often life-threatening, terrifying, or otherwise overwhelming events such as natural disasters, accidents, violent crimes, warfare, abuse, and assault. People who have experienced trauma may struggle to feel safe and secure in their daily lives and can suffer from various mental health problems including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. One common symptom of PTSD is avoidance, which involves trying to avoid anything that reminds them of the traumatic event. This includes avoiding physical closeness, both with others and even with themselves.
Physical closeness is an essential part of human interaction, allowing individuals to connect emotionally, physically, and sexually.
When someone has experienced trauma, they may be reluctant to engage in any kind of physical contact because it feels too vulnerable, risky, or painful. They may also find it difficult to trust others enough to let them get close enough for intimacy. This can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and fear of abandonment, making it difficult for them to maintain meaningful relationships.
One reason why people may avoid physical closeness after experiencing trauma is due to hypervigilance. Hypervigilance is a state where someone becomes acutely aware of their surroundings and prepares for danger at all times. In this state, they may become easily startled by sudden movements or loud noises and react quickly to perceived threats. Physical closeness requires trust and openness to others, but those who are hypervigilant may constantly scan their environment for potential dangers and thus find it challenging to relax into intimacy.
Another reason why trauma interferes with openness to physical closeness is through desensitization. Desensitization occurs when a person's nervous system gets used to being on high alert and becomes less responsive to stimuli over time. This means that while they might initially feel frightened by the prospect of intimate touch, over time, they will begin to numb out and lose interest in physical contact altogether. Someone whose nervous system has been desensitized may struggle to experience pleasure from physical closeness, leading them to withdraw even further from intimacy.
People who have experienced trauma may also engage in dissociation as a way of coping with distress. Dissociation involves detaching oneself from reality, including one's own thoughts and emotions. During times of extreme stress, dissociation can help someone survive by creating a buffer between themselves and what's happening around them.
It can also make it difficult to connect emotionally and physically with others because they feel distant or "outside" of their body.
Trauma can profoundly impact an individual's ability to engage in physical closeness due to factors such as hypervigilance, desensitization, and dissociation. It takes time, support, and therapy for people who have experienced trauma to work through these issues and become more open to physical closeness. By understanding how trauma affects the brain and body, we can better support those who need it most.
How does trauma interfere with openness to physical closeness?
Past experiences of physical abuse, assault, neglect or witnessing violence can make individuals reluctant or resistant to physical intimacy in future relationships. These experiences often lead to feelings of fear, anxiety and distrust towards close proximity, as well as difficulties in establishing trust and connection with others. Traumatic events may also trigger flashbacks, panic attacks and other symptoms that interfere with one's ability to regulate their emotions during moments of vulnerability.