The ability to be open and honest about one's feelings is an essential aspect of any relationship, whether it be romantic, platonic, familial, or professional.
For those who serve in the military, balancing relational vulnerability with professional competence and hierarchical authority can present unique challenges. Soldiers often find themselves in situations where they must maintain strict adherence to rules and regulations while also navigating personal relationships with their peers and superiors. In this paper, I will explore how soldiers can balance these conflicting demands, drawing upon research from social psychology, organizational behavior, and interpersonal communication theory.
Social Psychology
According to social psychologist John M. Gottman, successful relationships are built on trust, commitment, intimacy, and mutual support. When individuals are able to express their emotions and needs without fear of judgment, criticism, or rejection, they can build stronger connections with others.
When individuals feel pressure to conform to norms or expectations, they may suppress their true thoughts and feelings, leading to resentment and disconnection.
Soldiers who are expected to follow orders without question may feel unable to express their doubts or concerns, even if doing so would improve mission outcomes. This can lead to frustration and conflict within the unit.
Organizational Behavior
Organizational behavior scholar Amy Edmondson has argued that effective leadership requires a combination of technical skill and emotional intelligence. Leaders who can recognize and understand the emotional states of their subordinates are better equipped to motivate them and create an atmosphere of openness and collaboration. In the military context, this means leaders must be able to acknowledge and address their own vulnerabilities as well as those of their team members. By modeling openness and vulnerability, leaders can create a culture where soldiers feel safe expressing themselves and collaborating effectively.
Interpersonal Communication Theory
Interpersonal communication scholar Deborah Tannen argues that effective communication involves balancing relational and task-oriented behaviors. In other words, we need to pay attention both to our own and others' needs in order to communicate effectively. Soldiers must balance their personal desires for intimacy and connection with their professional obligations to obey orders and maintain discipline. This requires careful consideration of how one communicates with superiors and peers, as well as how one interprets messages from others.
A soldier who is told to "carry on" after a traumatic event may interpret this as dismissive or insensitive, while it was meant to convey that they were doing their job well. Clear and consistent communication between all parties is essential for building trust and understanding.
How do soldiers balance relational vulnerability with professional competence and hierarchical authority?
"In the military setting, soldiers are often required to maintain a high level of professionalism and competence while also navigating relationships with their peers, superiors, and subordinates. This can be challenging as it requires balancing personal needs and desires with organizational requirements. Soldiers may find themselves feeling vulnerable when they need to express emotions that could be perceived as weaknesses by their colleagues, such as fear or sadness.