Erotic Avoidance in Survivors of Assault
How can someone who has been sexually assaulted find pleasure in their romantic life again? In this article, we will explore how survivors may experience trauma symptoms that interfere with their capacity to enjoy physical closeness with others, known as "erotic avoidance." We will also discuss strategies for dealing with these issues and reconnecting with one's sexual self after trauma.
The term "trauma" refers to any event that causes psychological distress due to the perception that it is out of control, unpredictable, overwhelming, or frightening. Many people experience traumatic events at some point in their lives without developing long-term symptoms such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but PTSD is characterized by persistent fear responses after exposure to an extreme stressor. Trauma symptoms are often divided into three categories: intrusive memories, hyperarousal, and constriction (i.e., emotional numbing). Erotic avoidance falls under the category of constriction, which manifests as a decrease in interest in things once enjoyed. This behavior pattern can lead to problems related to intimacy and closeness in relationships.
Sexual assault victims frequently report difficulties with arousal, intimacy, and desire. They may feel detached from their bodies and find sex painful or unpleasant. They may struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, or even disgust towards themselves and their partners. Some survivors have difficulty trusting others, feeling safe, and forming healthy attachments. These experiences can contribute to increased anxiety and depression.
There are several reasons why erotic avoidance occurs in survivors of assault. One reason is physical sensations associated with the attack may trigger flashbacks during sex. Another cause is shame about the assault itself or the belief that they deserved it. Survivors may be afraid of being rejected or judged for not having "normal" sexual appetites. Victims may also worry about experiencing trauma triggers, including specific movements, positions, or words used during intercourse.
To manage erotic avoidance, therapy is essential. Treatment should focus on rebuilding self-esteem and confidence while exploring negative patterns of thinking and coping strategies. The goal is to regain control over one's sexuality by identifying and challenging destructive thoughts. In some cases, medication may help alleviate symptoms such as anxiety or depression. It is crucial to create a support system of friends and family members who understand and validate your experience.
Setting boundaries with potential partners is vital. Survivors need to express their needs clearly and ask for what they want without fear of judgment. It is also helpful to explore new activities together, such as massage, yoga, or meditation, that can promote relaxation and intimacy outside of the bedroom. With time, patience, and professional guidance, healing is possible. Remember: you are not alone in this journey.
How does trauma manifest in erotic avoidance in survivors of assault?
Traumatic experiences can lead to various coping mechanisms that may be expressed through sexual behavior. One such mechanism is erotic avoidance, which occurs when an individual avoids engaging in any form of intimacy or sexual activity due to fear or anxiety associated with past trauma. This type of response has been observed among survivors of assault who experience feelings of shame, guilt, or self-blame after being victimized.