In relationships, communication is crucial for successful negotiation of expectations. When one partner has served in military combat zones, their experiences can impact their mental state and behavior, which may cause unpredictable emotions that affect both partners. This paper will explore how partners communicate to maintain healthy relationships while understanding each other's needs during this challenging time.
Partners who have been through deployment often experience trauma-related stressors such as PTSD symptoms, anxiety, depression, flashbacks, hypervigilance, irritability, sleep disturbances, and nightmares. These factors can cause significant changes in mood and behavior, making it difficult to predict reactions from the person returning home. The following strategies can help couples navigate these obstacles.
1. Be Honest About Your Feelings - It is essential to be transparent about your thoughts and feelings when returning home so you can process your experiences together. Share what you are going through without judgement or blame; avoid making assumptions about why they feel a certain way or how long it will take them to adjust. Communication involves listening actively, asking questions, validating their perspective, and offering support rather than giving advice or fixing them.
"I'm feeling anxious because I don't know how to express my emotions yet."
2. Plan Date Nights/Date Days - Schedule regular dates where you spend quality time with your partner doing fun activities outside the house or even stay at home and relax. Create an environment conducive to intimacy by preparing romantic meals or planning sexy surprises like massages or baths.
3. Ask for Help From Professionals - Seek out counseling services if needed; individual therapy helps you cope better while helping your partner heal. Look into veteran organizations that offer group therapy sessions focused on relationships. Also, consider attending couples counseling together to learn healthy communication skills like active listening, empathy building, and conflict resolution techniques.
4. Practice Self-Care Together - Make sure both partners practice self-care during this transition period, whether through exercise, hobbies, or mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga. Set boundaries around work hours/days off from each other to give yourself space and recharge. This allows you both to be fully present in the relationship when spending time together instead of running on fumes all the time.
5. Remember Your Relationship Is Worth It - Be patient with one another and remember why you fell in love initially despite changes caused by military service. Remind each other regularly about shared values and goals and take care of yourself physically so that you can remain emotionally available for each other. Stay committed to nurturing the connection despite challenges and working towards common objectives instead of giving up too quickly due to temporary problems.
By following these steps, couples can maintain open lines of communication about their needs while supporting each other through deployment-related struggles. With consistent effort put into understanding each other's perspectives and negotiating expectations accordingly, they can strengthen their bond even more than before their loved ones went away.
How do partners negotiate relational expectations when soldiers' post-deployment emotional responses fluctuate unpredictably?
Researchers have found that soldiers can experience various emotions after returning from deployment, which may include feeling depressed, anxious, stressed, irritable, guilty, or numb. These feelings can impact their relationships with loved ones and lead to misunderstandings and conflicts about what is expected of each other. To navigate these changes, couples must communicate openly about their needs and desires, set realistic expectations for one another, and seek support if necessary.