The topic of this article is how survivors of trauma can challenge social restrictions on sex, which are often imposed to prevent unwanted pregnancies, HIV/AIDS transmission, rape, and STDs. These rules can be very restrictive for people who have experienced trauma but also need to feel loved, wanted, accepted, and fulfilled sexually. As researchers argue, these individuals can develop anxiety disorders, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, substance abuse problems, and even suicidal thoughts if they do not express their sexuality.
How do survivors of trauma challenge social restrictions on sex? They can start with self-awareness exercises that help them understand what types of touching and affection make them feel good.
Some therapists recommend body scanning or sensation practices such as mindfulness meditation, yoga, or somatic awareness. This helps individuals become more aware of their bodies and recognize when they experience pleasure. Next, survivors can identify safe partners, preferably within trusted relationships, where they feel comfortable and secure enough to explore intimacy. Some may choose to confide in a close friend or family member about their desires and fears first. Others may seek professional support from a qualified counselor or therapist trained in sex therapy.
Survivors of trauma should communicate clearly and honestly with their partner(s) about the activities they like and those they don't. They can describe specific scenarios, positions, and touches that are enjoyable or pleasurable for them. Some may prefer gentle caresses, others may want rougher play, and others may only be interested in oral sex or masturbation. It is important for partners to respect boundaries and refrain from pushing beyond what feels comfortable. Survivors can also practice saying "no" or stopping an activity if it becomes too much or uncomfortable.
Survivors can experiment with different ways of expressing sexuality outside of intercourse, including kissing, hugging, cuddling, mutual massage, or sexting. They can also learn about new positions, techniques, or erotic materials (e.g., pornography) that help them relax, let go of shame, and open up emotionally. With time and patience, many people overcome their anxieties and restrictions and find fulfillment in healthy, consensual relationships that meet their needs and desires.
How do survivors of trauma challenge social restrictions on sex?
Survivors of trauma may experience feelings of isolation and dissociation which can lead them to seek out sexual experiences that are taboo or unconventional as a means of reconnecting with their bodies and regaining a sense of control over their lives. This can include engaging in casual encounters outside of traditional monogamous relationships, exploring alternative forms of intimacy such as BDSM, or seeking out kink communities online.