Traumatic experiences can be highly impactful and have lasting effects that can affect individuals' mental health and wellbeing. When it comes to romantic partnerships, trauma can also play an important role in shaping how people interact and communicate with each other. In this article, I will discuss how trauma triggers can cause interruptions in emotional safety between partners.
Trauma triggers in couples
When someone has experienced trauma, they may carry those memories with them into their current relationships. This can manifest in various ways, such as flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, or physical sensations. These responses are known as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms. PTSD can make it difficult for individuals to feel safe in social situations, especially when they are triggered by something reminiscent of the original trauma. In turn, these triggers can cause significant disruption in the couple relationship.
If one partner was abused as a child, they might become anxious around authority figures like police officers or teachers. They could also become hypervigilant and fearful in public places where there is a potential threat of violence. If their partner does not recognize these triggers, they may inadvertently create further distress for their partner.
If the survivor becomes upset while out shopping due to seeing an aggressive stranger, their partner may not understand why. This misunderstanding can lead to frustration and resentment on both sides.
Emotional Safety
Emotional safety refers to feeling secure enough within your relationship that you can express yourself freely without worrying about being judged, criticized, or invalidated. When partners cannot connect emotionally, they are unable to form a strong bond that allows them to trust each other fully. Without this foundation, it's challenging to build intimacy and maintain healthy communication patterns.
When someone has experienced trauma, they often carry with them an underlying sense of danger and vulnerability. This means they will be extra sensitive to perceived threats, even if they aren't realistic. Triggers from past traumas can create a false sense of danger in the present moment, which can compromise emotional safety between couples. Partners may feel like they must walk on eggshells to avoid triggering their partner, leading to constant stress and tension.
Addressing Trauma Triggers
Addressing trauma triggers requires openness and honesty between partners. Survivors need to let their partner know what triggers cause distress so they can support and protect them when necessary. It's also important for partners to validate and normalize their loved one's feelings. This might mean acknowledging how hard it is for them to process these experiences without blaming or shaming them for having them.
It's essential for partners to work together to find ways to manage triggers.
They could set boundaries around conversations that make their partner uncomfortable. Or they could plan activities outside of the home where they feel safer. Couples therapy can provide a safe space for both individuals to discuss these issues and develop strategies to handle future triggers.
Trauma triggers disrupt emotional safety because they remind survivors of past experiences that are still raw and painful. When partners do not recognize these responses, it can lead to misunderstandings and resentment.
Open communication and validation can help partners navigate these challenges together. With time and patience, both people involved in the relationship can learn to address triggers and build greater intimacy and trust.
How do trauma triggers disrupt emotional safety in couples?
Traumatic experiences can have long-lasting effects on individuals' mental health and relationships with others. One of the ways they can impact interpersonal dynamics is by creating emotional triggers that disrupt feelings of safety and security. These triggers may be physical, such as certain sounds, smells, or touches, or they could be verbal or visual reminders of past traumas.