It is important to understand what relational disappointment means. Relational disappointment occurs when an individual experiences a discrepancy between their expectations for a relationship and its actual state. This can happen when one partner sets unrealistic goals for the relationship, has differing communication styles than the other, fails to meet each other's needs or desires, or even cheats. When these types of conflict arise, it can lead to feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, hopelessness, guilt, resentment, and loneliness. Service members are often faced with unique challenges that make coping with this kind of disappointment especially difficult. They may be away from home for long periods of time, face frequent deployments or relocations, have limited access to resources and support networks outside of their unit or military base, and struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or traumatic brain injury (TBI), which can cause difficulty regulating emotions.
Despite these challenges, there are several strategies service members can employ to cope with relational disappointment. The most effective approach is to communicate openly and honestly about the issue with their partner. This allows them to express their feelings in a constructive way rather than bottling them up or acting out aggressively. They should also set realistic expectations for themselves and their partner, taking into account both parties' schedules, needs, wants, and limitations.
Seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships can provide valuable insights and tools for managing conflicts.
Engaging in activities together such as going on dates or spending quality time alone can help strengthen the bond between partners and improve intimacy.
Not all strategies work equally well for everyone. Some individuals may need more structure and discipline than others when dealing with relational disappointment.
They might benefit from creating daily routines involving physical exercise, mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga, journaling exercises where they reflect on their thoughts and feelings, or self-care rituals such as taking a warm bath or reading inspirational books. Others may find solace in creative pursuits such as writing poetry or painting pictures.
It depends on what works best for each individual and requires experimentation until finding the right fit.
Relational disappointment is a common occurrence that can arise from various sources within military life. While it can be difficult to cope with these types of challenges without proper support systems, there are many resources available to help service members navigate this complex terrain successfully. By setting realistic expectations, communicating openly with their partner, seeking professional help if needed, practicing self-care techniques, and exploring creative outlets for emotional release, service members can manage any disappointments in their relationship while also strengthening it over time.
How do service members cope with relational disappointment that arises from conflicting expectations between partners?
Service members often have high expectations of their romantic relationships due to the pressure of military life and personal experiences. When these expectations are not met, they can experience a wide range of negative emotions such as frustration, anger, sadness, disappointment, betrayal, and loneliness.