Sexual coercion is an insidious form of violence that can have lasting psychological consequences for victims, such as feelings of shame, guilt, fear, and low self-esteem. These effects may make it difficult to build healthy sexual relationships and maintain one's sense of agency and desire.
There are many strategies that individuals can use to rebuild their sexual confidence and regain control over their sexual lives.
One important strategy is to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide emotional validation and guidance. Victims should be honest about what they experienced and allow themselves time to process their emotions without judging themself or feeling guilty. It can also help to write down thoughts and feelings related to the experience in a journal or share them with someone else.
Another strategy is to educate oneself about sexuality and intimacy. This includes learning about different types of pleasure, exploring erotic fantasies, and seeking out educational resources like books, videos, or classes. It can also involve practicing communication skills, negotiating boundaries, and establishing clear expectations in new relationships.
Physical activity has been shown to improve mood and reduce anxiety, which can enhance sexual experiences. Exercise programs like yoga or Pilates can increase flexibility and balance while reducing stress hormones. Regular physical activity can also boost endorphin levels, improving overall well-being and increasing libido.
Taking up new hobbies or interests outside of romantic relationships can provide distraction and fulfillment.
Volunteering, joining a book club, pursuing creative endeavors, or taking up an athletic sport can offer opportunities for socialization, community building, and personal growth. These activities can promote self-esteem, resilience, and confidence.
Mindfulness practices such as meditation, breathwork, or visualizations can calm the mind and alleviate stress, allowing individuals to focus on the present moment. They can reduce negative thought patterns that may interfere with sexual desire or performance. Journaling, art therapy, and other expressive arts can also be therapeutic and empowering.
It's important to prioritize self-care by practicing healthy habits, setting boundaries, and avoiding triggers that remind one of the trauma. This includes eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, engaging in regular exercise, limiting substance use, and setting limits around work, family obligations, and other commitments. It is essential to practice good self-talk, maintaining positive affirmations, and challenging negative beliefs about oneself.
Rebuilding sexual confidence after experiences of coercion, manipulation, or betrayal requires patience, persistence, and support. By seeking out help, educating themselves, engaging in physical activity, pursuing passions, practicing mindfulness, and prioritizing self-care, individuals can reclaim their agency and find joy in their sexual lives again.
What strategies help individuals rebuild sexual confidence and agency after experiences of sexual coercion, manipulation, or betrayal?
People who have experienced traumatic events like sexual coercion, manipulation, or betrayal may struggle with their sense of self-confidence and personal agency in intimate relationships. In order to rebuild these qualities, there are several strategies that can be helpful for an individual, including seeking professional support, practicing self-care, building healthy relationship skills, and addressing any underlying issues that contributed to the experience.