The relationship between military service and mental health has been well documented for centuries. Soldiers returning from combat often struggle with symptoms such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and substance abuse disorders, which can have far-reaching effects on their personal lives.
The impact of these experiences on intimate relationships is less understood. This article will explore how soldiers' perceptions of self-worth affect their ability to maintain relational intimacy after traumatic experiences.
Let's define 'relational intimacy.' Relational intimacy refers to the level of emotional connection that exists between two people in a romantic or platonic partnership. It involves mutual trust, support, communication, vulnerability, physical and emotional closeness, and a sense of shared history. In other words, it requires both parties to feel secure in sharing thoughts, feelings, dreams, fears, hopes, desires, disappointments, pleasures, frustrations, and secrets without fear of rejection or judgment. To establish and sustain this kind of intimacy, soldiers must be willing to open up emotionally, expose themselves, and allow their partner to see them fully.
Trauma experienced during deployment can make soldiers feel unsafe and mistrustful of others, leading to difficulty forming deep connections with loved ones. They may become hypervigilant, suspicious, or easily triggered by perceived threats. They may also feel shame, guilt, or anger over their actions during war, which makes them hesitant to express their true selves. These factors can lead to a breakdown in relational intimacy, even if the partner does not know about the trauma itself.
Research suggests that soldiers who have higher levels of self-esteem are more likely to sustain meaningful relationships despite experiencing trauma. Self-esteem is a cognitive evaluation of one's worth as an individual, based on internal factors such as abilities, accomplishments, and appearance. Soldiers who believe they have personal strengths and value themselves tend to be more resilient in the face of challenges, including emotional distress caused by military service. By contrast, those who lack confidence and self-worth struggle to cope with stressors, which often damages their interpersonal bonds.
Maintaining relational intimacy requires effort and communication from both parties. When soldiers experience symptoms like depression or PTSD, they may withdraw from their partners, leading to misunderstandings and distance.
Partners may struggle to understand how best to support someone coping with trauma, especially when it impacts daily life and interactions. Without clear communication channels and mutual understanding, couples risk falling into patterns of disconnection and conflict.
Soldiers' perceptions of self-worth play a significant role in their ability to establish and maintain intimate relationships after traumatic experiences. Those who feel valued and competent are better equipped to navigate relationship difficulties and build resilience against external threats. While there are no easy solutions for resolving these complex issues, recognizing this connection can help individuals seek out support and resources for managing them.
How do soldiers' perceptions of self-worth influence their ability to maintain relational intimacy after trauma?
After experiencing trauma, soldiers may struggle with feelings of low self-worth and lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities. This can make it difficult for them to form and maintain relationships as they worry about being judged negatively by others. Additionally, their experiences may have caused them to feel disconnected from society and unable to relate to those around them who have not had similar experiences.