People often face emotional challenges in their personal lives, including when they experience traumatic events such as job loss or death of loved ones, financial difficulties, family conflicts, health problems, or relationship breakups. These life situations can be particularly difficult for individuals who rely heavily on the support of others, especially when they are unable to express themselves fully without shame or judgment.
People may feel guilty or embarrassed about sharing negative feelings or seeking help from others due to cultural norms, religious beliefs, peer pressure, or expectations from society. In these cases, intimacy is subordinated to external pressures that dictate what one should do or say instead of how one feels inside. This article will discuss some psychological risks associated with this phenomenon using examples from clinical practice.
Examples of Subordination
One common example involves sexual abuse survivors who struggle to overcome their past experiences and move forward. Many victims report feeling guilty or ashamed about what happened to them and hide these feelings from friends and family members out of fear of being judged negatively. As a result, they tend to suppress their thoughts and feelings and avoid talking about the incident entirely, which can lead to mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and substance abuse. Survivors who are able to seek professional counseling may benefit from therapy but still find it difficult to be open about their experiences, leading to a lack of trust between themselves and their therapists.
This lack of trust can prevent individuals from experiencing true intimacy in future relationships, as they may continue to repress their emotions and feel uncomfortable with vulnerability.
Another example is when romantic partners face difficulties in their relationship due to societal expectations.
Couples may feel pressured by peers or family members to maintain certain standards of beauty, wealth, success, or social status, which can create stress and anxiety within the relationship. These external factors may influence decision-making processes, including choosing career paths, living arrangements, spending habits, or lifestyle choices that could impact one's well-being. In extreme cases, people may stay in unhappy marriages or commitments for fear of disappointing others and jeopardizing their reputation. This pressure can cause resentment, anger, and mistrust among partners, leading to deteriorating communication and decreased intimacy over time.
Mental Health Issues
The subordination of intimacy to external pressures can have detrimental effects on an individual's mental health. People may experience increased feelings of isolation and loneliness if they cannot fully express themselves without judgment or criticism. They may also struggle with self-esteem issues related to their perceived ability to meet societal expectations or perform at work or school.
Those who feel unable to share negative emotions with others may turn to destructive behaviors such as substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, or other forms of self-harm.
This lack of authenticity can result in greater psychological distress, depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts or attempts.
It is crucial for individuals to prioritize personal needs and seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals when facing life challenges. Acknowledging and processing difficult emotions through therapy, journaling, artistic expression, or other creative outlets can be beneficial in reducing stress and promoting overall well-being. It is important to remember that no one should feel shame or embarrassment for experiencing a range of human emotions and reactions to life events. By recognizing the importance of authenticity and openness, people can cultivate stronger relationships and improve their mental health in the long run.
What psychological risks emerge when intimacy is subordinated to external pressures?
When intimacy takes a backseat to outside forces, such as work or social obligations, people may experience various psychological impacts. These can include increased stress levels, decreased self-esteem, and feelings of isolation or loneliness. Additionally, individuals may struggle with maintaining healthy relationships due to reduced communication and connection with loved ones.